Coming Home, Again

Several years ago I returned to Georgia to attend the seventy-fifth birthday of the woman who became a mother figure in my life after my mother died. I wrote about her in an earlier post which you can read here.  It was the first trip to the home of my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood in many years. While I appreciated reconnecting with many of those I saw, I was provided with ample opportunities to question the truth of the often repeated adage and title of the famous novel by Thomas Wolfe, “You Can’t Go Home Again.”

While many of my interactions with friends and family members were familiar, I cannot honestly say that they were all comfortable. I found that I was not able or willing to enter into some of the known patterns of familial behavior. Choosing a new way of being with family does not always foster a feeling of “home.” As we grow and change, so do our relationships. We often discover that the relationships which at one time felt supportive and nurturing, no longer do.

As a boy, I spent many hours of fun on my “Granmomma” Howard’s farm. Running through the hay barn, chasing the chickens and splashing in the creek are wonderful memories. Those were the care-free days of youth. My recent visit was not the same. The barn no longer stores hay, and is on the verge of collapse; there are no chickens; and the creek is all but dried up. While enjoyable, this last experience was a much more sedate experience on the farm. It was somewhat sobering.

I was not even able to return to the “home” of the Evans’ Knights, my high school alma mater. When I drove by the site on which the school once stood, I discovered that it had been razed and a Home Depot erected. I was amused by the metaphor considering that a depot is a place to store things, much like the human mind. My mind was filled with memories of what were, in many ways, more care-free days - memories I had hoped to revisit while at my old high school. Alas, it was not to be.

Through it all, I surmised that it must be true that one cannot go home again, because what we think of as “home” is never the same when we attempt to reclaim it. We are all constantly changing and growing as we experience life.

Recently, as J and I were driving to the Denver International Airport, which we have done many times since moving here, I suddenly became aware of how familiar things seemed. I turned to J and asked him if Denver now feels like home. While I was curious about his perspective, I think I was honestly asking the question of myself, particularly since we have only lived here for a year and a half. What does it mean to me to feel at “home?”

Since becoming an adult, I have moved quite frequently. I lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth area for 29 years, and during that time I lived in 14 different places. That is an average of just over 2 years per “home!” The longest duration in any one home was just short of 5 years. As I reflect on those statistics, it seem clear that establishing a physical location as a “home” is not high on my list of priorities. Still, I truly value and am grateful for the place I call “home.” It provides me with a place to feel safe, secure and nurtured. My home is the place I go to be fed - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

My assumption is that most who are reading this post enjoy having a home to retreat to at the end of the day where you can rest, relax and rejuvenate. I am also keenly aware of the millions of people around the world, including many in our own city, who do not enjoy such an advantage. That is one reason I am so thrilled that Unity Spiritual Center Denver is partnering with Family Promise of Greater Denver to provide temporary housing for families who are currently without a place to call home. Please read more about this ministry in our newsletter from last week.

While a physical space to call home supports our well-being, it is not the ultimate source of our comfort, or even our safety or security. It is vitally important for us to get the support we need by establishing a spiritual home. Although we often refer to it as that, I am not referring to a church or spiritual center, even though they are often places we find comfort and growth. The spiritual home I speak of is not dependent upon a building or a particular location. Our spiritual home is a place in consciousness where each of us can go at any time to feel refreshed and renewed in Spirit. 

We all need a place where we can retreat from the constant activity of the world, a world that often requires as much energy as we can muster just to stay fully present and available for life. Our spiritual home is such a place. It exists in the awareness of the One Life that is the source and imbues all life. It is at the foundation of essential nature, the ground of all Being.

We must build and strengthen our awareness of our spiritual home through prayer, meditation, contemplation and mindfulness practices. This is a place we can come home to through our intention and willingness. It is, to quote Alfred, Lord Tennyson, “nearer than breathing and closer than hands and feet.”¹ As we devote time, energy and focus, our ever present spiritual home becomes a space of sanctuary, rest and rejuvenation within.

I believe it’s true that we can’t go home again if we think of ‘home’ as a relationship, place or even an experience, because all of those are constantly changing. Life, in all of its manifestations, is never stagnant. However, we can come home again. We come home to that space within that is not disturbed by the world around us. In that space is our true nature that abides at the depth of Being.

Denver is the place in the world I now call “home.” I feel supported and nurtured in the place I reside as well as by the people in our loving community. As I travel, I am always happy to come back home. It feels safe and secure.

Likewise, I feel empowered when I remember that no matter where I may be in the world, I can come home at any time by bringing my focus to my center, breathing into that space of knowing that I am always supported by the One Life that lives as me. That is where I ultimately find rest, relaxation and renewal.

While it may be true that we are not able to go home again, I know we can always come home - again and again.

Join us on Sunday for our 10:00 service as we explore further the ways we can strengthen our abilities to come home, again, any time.

¹From The Higher Pantheism by Alfred, Lord Tennyson