Motherly Love

Each year as Mother’s Day comes around, I think of my mother who died in 1976. I was 15-years old at the time. We were always very close. I guess you could say I was a “mama’s boy.” As a child, I never wanted her to be too far out of sight. I would be highly upset if I was playing at a friend’s house and came home to find that she had gone to the store without me. She was my “safety zone.” I always knew that no matter what, she was the one person I could depend on to take care of me.

She was always the fun mom. I have vivid memories of her playing kickball and softball with me and the other kids in the neighborhood. There were no other moms playing ball out in the middle of dirt road we lived on.  Everyone wanted to play at Miss Judy’s house.

She was a stay at home mom, so she was always there when we left for school in the morning and when we got home in the afternoon. I recall very few mornings when she did not have a pot of grits, fried bacon and eggs ready for breakfast, whether or not any of us wanted to eat them. I shudder to think how many pots of congealed grits were either thrown in the trash or fed to our dogs. Yes, we fed table scraps to our dogs! It was a special treat to come home from school occasionally to a freshly made lemon meringue pie or chocolate chip cookies.

Every other year she was a “room mother” during my elementary school years. She did the same for my sister on the alternating years. If you are not familiar with the “room mother” concept; a “room mother” was one who helped to plan and present the class parties during the year. They made cookies and cupcakes and brought them to the classroom for all of us to enjoy. I felt such joy and pride when my mother would show up on those special occasions and share some of her love and joy with my friends at school. When I went to middle school and later to high school, she was present for every choir concert, every church program, and while there were only a few, for every little league baseball game.

I was devastated when she and my sister died tragically in a car accident. She was 35 and my sister was 16. In an instant, all of that love, care and safety were gone. At least, it seemed so at the time.

I was soon to discover that the gift of Motherly Love is not restricted to the one who gave me birth. Many loving, caring people were there to surround me with love and support, but one in particular. Her name is Kathy. She is the mother of the first friend I met when we moved into the house I lived in for most of my youth. Her daughter, Janet, and I became fast friends in our inflatable pool that summer. She and I spent many hours playing in our adjoining yards. Our mothers became good friends as well.

After the accident, Kathy embraced my brother and me in love and care. She opened her arms and her home, and we became part of her family. Today, nearly 40 years later, she still considers me her son. Her daughters often joke that I am her favorite. They plead with me to come visit because they say she is much happier when I’m around. I don’t know if that’s true, but it makes me feel good to think it is.

I don’t mean to suggest that my life was ideal, or that my mother was a saint. She could get angry, and be very vocal about it. She punished me with spankings, which today some might consider child abuse. She was not always jovial; she was often sad and lonely. She, like the rest of us, was dealing with her own “stuff,” and my siblings and I were caught up in all of that. Then, later, Kathy was often over-protective and, at times over-bearing, especially for a 15-year old boy. I have spent many hours and a great deal of money in therapy working through “mother issues.” Still, I had a good childhood.

I know that I have been fortunate. I realize that there are many who did not have the experiences of motherly love that I enjoyed. I realize that many of you who are reading this had very different experiences with your mother. I recognize that there are many children in the world, indeed many in our city, who do not have someone to show them motherly love. Like me, many no longer have their mothers in physical form. Also, there are many mothers who wanted children that never came to be, or have experienced the loss of a child. For some, the grief is still very present and new. For others, the grief remains, yet not so fresh or intense. Regardless, I recognize that Mother’s Day can be a painful reminder for many of what is lost or what never was. My heart breaks open with empathy and compassion for you.

It is good to honor our earthly mothers for giving us life and for being the expression of the Divine that each of them is; even if they were not able to see it within themselves, thus not able to reflect it to us. As children, we were dependent upon someone else to give us love and attention, to teach us that we matter and to acknowledge our worth. Now that we are adults, we can choose to know and claim that we matter and are worthy of love simply because we are. No one can bestow it upon us, and no one can deprive us of it.

This Mother’s Day, I encourage us to recognize and celebrate that the energy of Motherly Love is our divine inheritance. It is who and what we are. It is not something that comes to us from another, although others may demonstrate it for us: Motherly Love comes through us and lives as us. It matters not whether we are currently embodied in a female or male physical form, each of us is the energy of the Divine Mother in expression. Motherly Love is the Divine Feminine as us, and we must awaken it within ourselves.

Begin by thinking of one person, female or male, who embodies the energy of Motherly Love for you. It may be someone you know personally, or someone you have read or heard about. Spend some time contemplating the qualities of this person. Accept that those qualities are innate within you as well. Allow yourself to ruminate on those qualities and bring your vibration into resonance with them. Feel the energy of them and experience every cell of your being imbued with the energy of them. See yourself filled with this energy and radiating it out into the world. Know that through the power of intention it is done. Use this mediation to embody the energy of Motherly Love. Envision yourself going into every interaction filled with the radiant energy of Motherly Love. Allow Love to show you the way. Let Love guide every thought, word and action.

I encourage us not to discount the significance of realizing this Truth. The expression of Motherly Love has the power to transform the world, and we have a role to play. We must consciously choose to embrace and embody the energy of Motherly Love and immerse ourselves in it so that we can reflect it to each other, especially the children. We are the ones who are here to share Motherly Love for ourselves, and with all - through our care, compassion, nurture and giving.

As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” We must know ourselves as Motherly Love in expression and choose to be it. Together we can change the world.

Please join us on Sunday at 10:00 for our service as we celebrate Motherly Love inherent in each of us.