Get Above Your Raisin'

On my one year anniversary in June, my Unity Spiritual Center Denver family gave me a gift card to a day spa. In case anyone is interested, these are perfect gifts for me. I enjoy treating myself to a facial occasionally.

In celebration of my birthday, I used my gift card this past Monday. When I walked into the spa the receptionist greeted me warmly and offered me a beverage of my choice. Since it was Monday before noon, I chose water over wine or a mimosa. (Yes, those were options.) She left me to complete some paperwork, and when she returned with my glass of water, she escorted me to the men’s changing room where a plush robe and comfortable sandals were laid out for me. A private shower and an array of toiletries were also at my disposal.

After giving me a tour of the changing room, she led me across the hall where soothing music was playing in the softly-lit relaxation room furnished with cushy chaise lounges arranged around the glow of the gas fireplace. She invited me to return to the relaxation room, after changing into my robe and sandals, to enjoy a variety of snacks and to wait for my aesthetician to greet me and take me to the treatment room.

One might think that I am accustomed to such attentive treatment and posh surroundings. One might also assume that I would feel right at home in the luxury of this space.  One might think that. I might even think that I “should” be comfortable in such a place, but the truth is I am not, and I wasn’t.

After changing, and securing my belongings in a private locker, I walked across the hall to the relaxation room, sat in a chaise lounge, put my legs up, and immediately became self-conscious. When I say “self-conscious” I mean conscious of the small ‘s’ “self,” the ego, the one who believes he is separate and unworthy. In that moment, I was not conscious of the capital ‘S’ “Self,” the True Nature, the Divine Self, the Christ Self.

I found it interesting and enlightening to sit in that room alone and listen to the voices in my head saying things like, “You don’t belong here;” “They know you can’t really afford to be here;” and my favorite of all, “Who do you think you are?” I also felt a pang of guilt arising, when I thought of all the people in the world who are hungry and homeless. I heard the voice of my mother saying, “Children in Africa are starving,” in her attempt to guilt me into eating my dinner. (I wonder if that ever really works on children or if it’s just another “Momism” that all mothers use.) I was also reminded of the old Southern colloquialism, “Don’t get above your raisin’” which I remember hearing as a child. It was an admonition not to get too “high headed” and think you are better than you are.

I assert that it is important for those of us who received and integrated these and similar messages to indeed “Get above our raisin’” and transcend these limiting messages in order to experience the fullness of life.  We do that by first inviting the awareness of the beliefs that limit our willingness and ability to receive all the Good that God is in our lives. It is not difficult. We only need ask, sit quietly and listen. They will reveal themselves.

Our tendency is to ignore them, deny them, or to resist them, but that only gives them more power. As psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carl Jung said, “What you resist persists.” Once we become aware of them, it is important that we remain curious and inquire as to the validity of the thoughts. By being present with the thoughts, rather than fighting or resisting them, we allow them to be revealed for what they truly are – concepts that stimulate feelings within us, but do not define us. They are thoughts that have arisen from the consciousness of fear, our own or another’s. They do not represent our Divine Nature which is created from and as the consciousness of Love.

The next step is to welcome the feelings associated with the thoughts and beliefs. Not wanting to experience the feelings is the primary reason we attempt to resist the thoughts. But, it is important to invite the feelings while not allowing ourselves to be engulfed by them. Feeling the guilt, remorse, sadness and pain associated with limiting thoughts and beliefs helps us to heal and release them. It is essential to remember that we are not our feelings, just as we are not our thoughts.

As we engage with the thoughts and feelings, much of their energy dissipates, at least in the moment, so that we are more open and receptive to the frequency of the Christ, our True Nature. The awareness of the Christ Light arises within us, and we feel more peaceful, centered and connected. As a result of observing our thoughts and feeling our feelings, we are able to experience our wholeness and embody it in a more visceral way.  And, as we are more open to perceiving our Christ nature, we are more open to perceiving it in everyone and everything else.

Fortunately, on Monday I was in a quiet space that supported my contemplation, and I was able to remain open and curious, rather than become defensive or sneak back into the changing room, put on my clothes and run out the door. I sat in that luxurious relaxation room, and came face-to-face with the limiting thoughts that I could have allowed to ruin my experience. The ones that I have, at times, allowed to restrict me. I was willing in the silence of that room to feel the fear, pain, guilt and shame that came up for me as I entertained those thoughts. And, as I engaged with them, they began to lose their grip on me.

I was in the relaxation room alone for what seemed like an eternity, but was actually only about ten minutes. Just before my aesthetician walk in, I felt a peaceful calm and I laughed silently. In that short time, I moved from being self-conscious to being Self-conscious. It turned out to be one of the most pleasant and nurturing facials I have ever had.

Join us on Sunday for our 10:00 service. I will continue with a series of lessons entitled, "Get over your self." We will explore how we can, indeed, “Get above our raisin’.”