Minding the Gap

In her bestselling book, Daring Greatly, author, professor, and lecturer Brené Brown, Ph.D. discusses the idea of "Minding the Gap." She explains that the phrase, "Mind the Gap," first appeared on signs in the London Underground to remind passengers to be aware of the gap between the train door and the station platform. She uses this phrase as a reminder for us to be aware of the gap between our aspired values and our practiced values. In other words, to be mindful of whether or not we are "walking the talk."

I greatly appreciate the importance of "Minding the Gap" and I believe it is the first step toward "Mending the Gap."

For most of us, there is often a gap between who we aspire to be and how we actually show up in the world. In order to "Mind the Gap" we must make a conscious effort to remain aware of whether the actions we take and the words we speak are in integrity with the values we hold. When we find that they are not, when we discover there is a gap, we can make choices that more fully express our values. For example, we may say that we value personal connection, but find that we are often unavailable for our family and friends because we are too busy with work or other obligations. If we are mindful of the gap, we can choose to set aside time in our schedules to have connecting conversations and meaningful exchanges with the people in our lives. In that way, we give attention to "Mending the Gap."

The gaps also appear in our spiritual communities, often in ways that we are not consciously aware of. For example, we may value inclusion and hospitality, but we don't have adequate programs in place to welcome guests and provide opportunities for them to be included in the activities of the church. We may embrace the importance of service to others, yet find that we are not fulfilling our intention to serve those outside our community. Once we become mindful of the gaps, we can make choices about how we want to mend them. We may decide to adopt a more intentional process for welcoming and including our guests. We may also explore and engage in other opportunities for service to the greater community.

"Minding the Gap" requires us to be clear about our values and, in community, the culture we intend to create together. It also demands our honest assessment of the gaps that exist and our vulnerability to admit where we fall short. "Mending the Gap" may necessitate measuring the extent of the divergence, assessing the means for bridging the gap, gaining the needed tools, and implementing strategies to achieve integrity.

As we "Mind the Gap" we maintain conscious awareness of our values and intentions, and we are able to determine if we are "walking the talk." When we find that we are not, we can take the necessary steps to "Mend the Gap" so that our aspired values become our practiced values.

Dr. Brown shares in her book that her family has a framed "Mind the Gap" postcard in their home to prompt them to be mindful of the space between where they now stand and where they intend to be as respects their values. I am going to create at least two for myself, one for home and one for my office, as a constant reminder of my intention to live from my highest values, to be aware of when I am not, and to take steps to "Mend the Gap." I would also enjoy it if we at Unity Church of Denver adopted this as a mantra, a way to help us remain consistently aware of our stated mission and core values and the possible gaps that can develop between them and our actions.

I invite you to join me in the commitment to "Minding the Gap" and in taking the necessary action, when needed, toward "Mending the Gap."