Owning Our Story

Over the course of the past week, I have felt anger, sadness, dismay, fear, and a plethora of other emotions. The events in Charlottesville, VA last weekend were painful enough, but the rhetoric that has ensued from politicians, pundits, so-called leaders, and commentators has added insult to injury. I am pained, as I am sure many of us are.

As I searched for something to share about this in this forum, I ran across a post from July 2015. I wrote it in response to the Supreme Court decision affirming marriage equality, as well as the tragic shootings that occurred in Charleston, SC the same week. Much of what I shared in that post reflects what I am thinking and how I am feeling in response to the recent events and what has transpired in the aftermath. What follows is an updated edited version of that post. You may read the original post here.

Living as a gay man I have experienced, first hand, fear that someone might discover the truth about me. I have feared for my jobs, and feared for my physical well-being. I have been rejected by the church, both the Baptist and Methodist, reviled by some family members, and endured the taunts and demeaning comments from others who judge me as unworthy of love and belonging because of my sexual orientation. It hurts to be discounted and denigrated as a human being because of prejudice about an aspect of my human nature. However, I understand that what demonstrates as hatred and violence against me and others originates in fear. I also know that fear is not innate, it must be taught. I have compassion for those, like me, who experience the effects of this fear, and also for those who live with the fear of prejudice, and allow it to guide their words and actions.

I grew up in the deep piney woods of central Georgia where racism was, and is still often enculturated. When I was a child and even a young adult, it was customary for my family members to use the word ‘nigger’ when referring to African-Americans. It was a source of pain for me then, and today I feel the pain of remorse for not always speaking out against this form of racism at the time.

As a child I felt confused and pained when I was told by my father that I could not be friends with Mosell, my first black friend at school. I easily imagine that those who participate in neo-Nazi and white supremacists groups grew up in a similar, presumably more severely racist cultures. They were not born with fear. They were taught to fear, and that fear eventually demonstrated as hate and violence.

While I can share and have deep empathy for them, I cannot fully fathom the pain and anger that so many African-Americans must feel. For centuries, they have suffered defamation and dehumanization, simply because of one aspect of their human nature – skin color. And, while progress has been made, we are far from living the values stated in the Preamble to the U.S. Declaration of Independence.

I was surprised to hear and see on the news that many cities across the country have removed or have plans to remove monuments that honor leaders of the Confederacy. I support their removal because I believe honoring leaders who fought for and defended a way of life that depended upon the enslavement of other human beings is not in keeping with the values I hold dear nor does it represent the values that America was founded upon.

However, I encourage us all not to equate the removal of Confederate memorials with putting the atrocities of slavery behind us. We must continue to tell the stories and listen to the stories of those who were and continue to be harmfully affected by the institutional enslavement of African people. As author and teacher Brené Brown stated recently in a video message in response to the events in Charlottesville, we must own our story. She says that if we do not own our story, no matter how painful it may be, our story owns us. This applies both individually and collectively. She further stated that when we own our story, we get to write the ending. It is vitally important that we own the American story of white privilege and slavery. Only by doing so can we decide how the story will unfold and ultimately how it will end. Please watch the video on her Facebook page here.

Yesterday, I watched a Vice News episode, Charlottesville: Race and Terror, which originally aired on HBO on August 14. It includes an interview with white nationalist, Christopher Cantwell. He and others who share his ideology assert that America is a nation that belongs to white people. I find that assertion incredulous. As I heard their words, I thought, “What about the people who were here before the white people arrived?”

The systematized genocide and exile of the Native American people is yet another aspect of the American story that we must no longer deny. Yes, it is a painful and terrible part of our history. Because we are ashamed of it, we shy away from owning that story. As a result, we continue to marginalize them. We blatantly disregard and disrespect the well-being, property and rights of Native people. They, along with African-Americans, face discrimination and bias at every level of society. I recommend watching A Conversation with Native Americans on Race posted on The New York Times website.

I think sometimes we lie behind a false belief that we recognize equality for all, and that the effects of racism are a thing of the past, but that is not in touch with reality. We may also think that everyone in America has equal opportunity to housing, employment and public resources. A truer observation is that this falls as a claim easily to white, mainstream Christian men. I, even as a gay man, include myself in that number. We are the privileged in our American society. Credible statistical data in the Huffington Post¹ reflects that racism is still alive and well in America. Current events bring this reality up close and personal. It magnifies the need now for us to champion love, equality and Oneness.

So, what do we do? How do we respond to the pain and suffering endured by many as the result of fear? Those are the questions I ask myself. Those are also the questions that the emerging church of the twenty-first century must ask. How do we soothe the fear and calm the tide of prejudice, racism, hate and violence?

The answer is always LOVE. We must take the Scripture below from 1 John 4: 7-21 to heart and announce it to the world. And we must do so as boisterously as those who proclaim the doctrine of hell and damnation or even racial purity and white supremacy.

Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love…No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.

God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love…Those who say, “I love God,” and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.

Jesus, our master way-shower, did not shrink from his commitment to radical acceptance and love, and neither should we. We must loudly and boldly proclaim that the message of the Bible is LOVE, not fear, for as the Scripture above says, “fear has to do with punishment.” We in Unity must unashamedly and unabashedly broadcast our message that the God of our understanding is not a God of judgment and retribution. We must emphatically assert that God is Love. We must take our message to the world and do all we can to promote the Gospel of Unity in God and Oneness with all humanity. We must do everything possible to counteract the message of separation that elicits fear of God and judgment of our fellows. We must take back the message of Jesus Christ from those who teach guilt and fear, and declare that the true message of the Christ is as Jesus stated, “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12: 30-31).

Only Love can release all from the bondage of a belief in a punitive God. In my last article, I gave examples and tools that we can use to be Love in every moment. It is titled, Return to Love. Only Love can free us from the bonds of our own prejudice. Only Love sets us free.

Join me in owning our story, transforming it to Love and being Love. I often close my posts with an invitation to join us at Unity Spiritual Center Denver where there is great Love for you. That has never been truer than now. Our service is at 10:00 a.m., and I look forward to seeing you this Sunday. Together we expand great Love to each other, our neighbors, our country and the world.

If you would like to learn about ways that you can take steps to express love in the world, I suggest taking a look at information on the Southern Poverty Law Center website. While I would prefer a title other than, Ten Ways to Fight Hate: A Community Response Guide because I don’t suggest “fighting” against, but rather standing for, I found the information helpful.

¹ Fifteen Charts that Prove We’re Far From Post-Racial, Huffington Post