Faith-Full Prosperity

We have designated October as Prosperity Month at Unity Spiritual Center Denver, so my mind is focusing on ways to speak about the subject. Well-known prosperity teachers in the New Thought movement of today come to mind; people like Mary Manin Morrissey, author of Building Your Field of Dreams and creator of Prosperity Plus and Prosperity Plus II, and Edwene Gaines, minister, teacher and author of The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity.

Those who have been in the Unity movement for some time know that Catherine Ponder was a pioneering thought leader in the realm of prosperity consciousness. Her teaching is as relevant today as it was 50 years ago. If you have not yet read her book, The Prosperity Secrets of the Ages, I highly recommend that you do. There are many other prosperity teachers, but these are the ones who have, to my knowledge, had the most far-reaching and profound influence on the prosperity consciousness of our movement.

This is perhaps an understatement, but I fully realize that not everyone appreciates Pastor Joel Osteen, especially after the negative publicity he received recently in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. He is, however, a leading voice in the arena of what is commonly known as the “prosperity gospel” for those who are seeking a more traditional approach.

I understand, too, that not everyone who is reading this post relates to Mr. Osteen’s approach to Scripture or even his presentation style. Regardless of what one may think of him personally or professionally, it is apparent that he is speaking to many people right where they are and evidently to what they need in a powerful and meaningful way.

His church, the largest Protestant church in the United States, boasts an average weekly attendance of over 43,000. In addition, his televised sermons are viewed by over 7 million people weekly and over 20 million monthly in 100 countries. Obviously, he is reaching people in numbers that none of those mentioned above, or probably even in the totality of our movement, have done to date.

While I do not agree with his theology, I am often inspired by some of the concepts presented in Pastor Osteen’s books. I truly appreciate the opportunity he provides me to reinterpret his traditional perspective into language that fits my theology. It seems that he is teaching, albeit from a traditional and more literal approach, much of what Catherine Ponder teaches from a metaphysical perspective of Scripture. In fact, there is nothing new in what Mr. Osteen teaches. He is simply teaching in a way that reaches those who still view the Bible literally. Obviously, they are a much larger segment of the population than those of us in New Thought.

As I began to consider my Sunday lessons on prosperity during October, I was once again drawn to read and listen to the audiobook version of Mr. Osteen’s book, Break Out! 5 Keys to go beyond Your Barriers and Live an Extraordinary Life. I used this book as the foundation for a series of lessons I gave four years ago at Unity of Arlington. Not surprising to me, because it happens frequently when I revisit books, I am reading and hearing things that I missed before. I realize that what is actually happening is that I am reading and listening from a different perspective. I have grown in my consciousness over the past three years, so naturally, I am experiencing his words differently. In what follows, I have chosen to share my perspective on Pastor Osteen’s words.

Unshakable Faith

Mr. Osteen says,

“When God puts a promise in your heart, you have to come to the place where you believe in that promise so strongly no one can talk you out of it.”

What is the promise that God puts in your heart? It is not the promise of health or wealth, not the promise of new job or the prefect relationship; not the promise of a new car or a grand home. The promise that God places in your heart is the same promise that is in the heart of all. God’s promise is not the manifestation of something in the physical, but is the promise of the truth of Oneness.

The promise is “I Am that; I Am.” The “I” which we call ‘God,’ ‘Universe,’ ‘Divine Mind,’ ‘One’ as well as many other names is the All in all and the All as all. The “I” is our only Truth. That Truth is “written on our hearts.” In other words, the Truth is recorded in our soul or etched on our spirit.

 “This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel

    after that time,” declares the LORD.

“I will put my law in their minds

    and write it on their hearts.

I will be their God,

    and they will be my people. – Jeremiah 31:33

That covenant is that the ‘I’ is all you need. Conditions change, people come and go, jobs begin and end, and houses are built and destroyed: “I” is changeless and eternal. We must place our faith so strongly in the awareness of the ‘I’ that nothing can move us. Nothing in the external can shake the faith that ‘I’ is the only Truth. No appearance, no circumstance can move us from our firm foundation in the Truth. It is this Truth that sets us free from the suffering caused by focusing on conditions.

Charles Fillmore, the co-founder of Unity, said,

“When we deny our attachment to matter and material conditions and affirm our unity with spiritual substance, we enter the new consciousness of real substance. Substance is not confined to matter; it is the idea that is the firm foundation of all that we conceive to be permanent.”

Mr. Osteen says, “If you focus on the condition, focus on the problem, you are using your faith but you are using it in reverse.”

Actually if you are focusing on your problem, if you are paying attention only to the condition, you are not using faith at all. Unity minister and author, Eric Butterworth, in his book Spiritual Economics, defines ‘faith’ as “consciousness centered in the Divine Flow.”  If we understand ‘faith’ from that perspective, it does not follow that faith can be used to focus on a problem. If we are focusing on the circumstance and we are not aware of the Truth in the midst of it, then we are in fear, not in faith. Faith is keeping our minds stayed on Truth.

Mr. Osteen encourages us to, “Get in agreement with God” (Job 22:21). We must be honest, and ask ourselves whether we are agreeing with the medical report or the financial report, or are we agreeing with the promise of God – the Truth of our Being.

This does not mean that we have to deny the appearance or live with our heads in the sand. It is fine to have information. However, it is essential not to allow the information to be perceived as Truth. The facts about a physical condition, financial situation, job or relationship are just that, facts; they are not your Truth. Do not allow the “facts” to inform your actions. Remove your focus from the facts before taking action and allow divine guidance to inform your actions.

Living a prosperous life is not something that happens to you; it happens through you. Living a prosperous life results not from focusing on life’s conditions and taking action to remedy them, but from living in conscious awareness of the eternal Truth of your being - the ‘I’ that is and was and evermore shall be All and taking action inspired from that consciousness. Your Good is not dependent upon any person, place or thing in the external. Your good is dependent upon you and your willingness to make that shift in consciousness.

Join us for our service this Sunday at 10:00. In my lesson, I will explore the role that the power of Faith plays, not only in establishing a prosperity consciousness, but also in demonstrating prosperity in our live.

The Energy of Money

In my lesson this Sunday at Unity Spiritual Center Denver, I will be talking about money. Because money can be a challenging topic for many, including me, I want to approach my lesson with prayerful consideration and care.

Yesterday, I sat down at my keyboard, connected with Spirit, and asked about my personal experience with money. I allowed the words to flow. The following is what I received. I have edited it minimally for spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

While it is personal and revealing, I am choosing to share it in the hope that you will receive some inspiration from it.

My questions are in bold print. The answers from Spirit are in italics.

You do not yet fully comprehend your capacity of mastery. You do not accept that you truly are the created of the Creator creating. You have heard it. You have taught it. But, you still do not fully accept that it is the Truth. Why do you not accept this? Are you afraid of what it may mean for you? Are you afraid that you will be held accountable for all the things in your life that are not in alignment with the wondrous glory of God that is expressing in you? Why do you look at your financial debt and believe that it is your limitation? Why do you allow the condition that you are currently experiencing to determine your well-being, your peace of mind, or lack thereof?

You must become that which you desire to experience. You must become a vibrational match to all that you desire.

How do I know if what I desire is in alignment with my soul or my highest good?

Why do you think that the Creator of all that is would want anything less for you than the absolute best? Why do you think that God, the Infinite Creator and Sustainer of all life is limited in any way? You are the only one who is limiting your experience of the Allness that God is in every moment; as the fulfillment of every moment; as the complete Essence of and in every moment of creation.

What is the belief that is limiting your expression of the financial abundance and freedom that you desire? Be honest with yourself. You are holding a belief that is limiting the flow of God Substance into and as your life. Do you belief that you are not deserving? Then, you may need to forgive yourself. You may need to clear away the energy of unforgiveness that is blocking the flow of good into your life.

It is all energy. Money is energy. It does not have volition. It flows as energy to where it is allowed and accepted, just as water flows when it is not dammed up. What is damming up the flow for you? Only you can know that. Only you can unblock the dam. Another name for money is ‘currency.’ Money is the flow of divine substance that shows up in your life as a mode of exchange. Money, like water, also needs an outlet or it will stagnate. Think of the Dead Sea. Nothing lives there, because the water is stagnate. There is no outflow.

I have plenty of outflow of my money. That is the reason I don’t have enough. I spend more than I bring in.

That is another issue. Just like the water, if there is insufficient flow into the body of water, a lake for example, it dries up. The same principle applies to the flow of energy as money into the body of your affairs. If there is not enough, then the body of your affairs will dry up. There has to be a balance.

Can the money or energy flow to anything, or does it have to flow to something specific?

It must flow in the direction of your highest ideals and values. When it flows in the direction of your highest ideals and values the inlet, as well as the outlet, remains open, because you are open. You feel good about what you are doing and where your money is flowing. You feel good about yourself when you are living your highest values. As a result you are more open and receptive to the inflow of energy, thus the inflow of money.

Also, you are more open and receptive to the inflow of Divine Ideas that when acted upon will lead you to generate more flow into your life. This is not only true of money, but of all areas of prosperity – your work, relationships, creative endeavors, self-fulfillment and all the ways that you can experience prosperity in the physical plane.

But, first you must KNOW prosperity in the higher or spiritual plane. You must know who you are. You must know what you are. You must know how you serve. How you serve is being in service to the highest values, intentions and ideals. Where are your thoughts, words and actions not in alignment with your highest values? When you discover that, you will be able to more closely align with who you truly are and begin to live the prosperous life that you desire.

Does that mean that I will have all the stuff that I want?

It doesn’t mean that you won’t have all the material stuff that you want, but that is not the point. The point is that you know who you are. When you know who you are, then you already have all that you truly desire. All the rest is just the out-picturing of that inner knowing. That may be all sorts of material wealth, or it may be that you experience the freedom of not desiring material possessions and the freedom that comes from not spending time, talent and energy attempting to maintain those material possessions.

What do you desire? You desire at the heart of your being to know yourself, to know God, to know yourself in the purest light of truth, as God in expression. When you truly know that, then nothing else matters. There is no material possession that can mirror to you the nature of who you truly are. There is no material possession that can capture or provide the pleasure that knowing yourself will allow you. Once you have that, you will know what we mean. You will see that everything else is just “vain imaginings.” 

So, how does one, how do I, truly know who I am?

You already know it, dear one. You already know it. Relax into it. Rest in the knowing. Allow the knowing that you already know. All is well. Al is truly well. All is well. That is the consciousness of prosperity. There is nothing you need to do. There is nothing you need to learn. There is nothing you need to acquire. Just open and receive. Let go, and allow the Holy Spirit within you to do the work of releasing you from the bondage of any and all beliefs that block your good. You cannot do it on your own. If you knew how to do it, would you not have already done it?

Be still, and know that I am God. Be still, rest in the absolute assurance that you are, I Am. Simply be that which you know yourself to be. It sounds simple because it is simple. There is no need to struggle. There is no need to worry. Seek first the kingdom of God, the consciousness of oneness and all these things will be added unto you. The master teacher Jesus spoke a great and deep wisdom here. Seek the kingdom of God means to open your eyes and see it. Open your inner, spiritual eyes and see that you are the kingdom of God in expression. Open your outer, physical eyes and see that all is the Kingdom of God expressing. The kingdom of God is spread upon the earth but men do not see it; another powerful teaching from Jesus.

All who have ears to hear, let them hear. All who have eyes to see, let them see. To you we say, become, in full embodiment, all that you already are, and you will see the demonstrations all around, in you, and through you, of the Allness of God manifested in abundance. Blessings to you.

Please join us on Sunday at 10:00 for our service. We will explore more about the energy of money and how it flows.

Watch Your Mouth

When I was a child and into my adolescent and teen years, I would occasionally (rarely, of course) speak to my mother using tones and words which she did not particularly appreciate.  She would often respond, “You’d better watch your mouth, young man.” Though that was all she said, she needed say nothing more. I knew what she meant. I knew that I had better choose my words carefully because I would, undoubtedly, face the consequences of my choices. I did not know at the time what a valuable lesson she was teaching.

No, I do not advocate threats of violence against children or anyone else to coerce them to do what you want them to do. That is not my point. The lesson I am referring to is the importance of the words we speak and the emotion with which we speak them. Words are energy vibrations that project our thoughts and feelings into the universal creative medium in a tangible way. The Universe responds by demonstrating, with precise accuracy, life experiences that reflect the energy of our words. Therefore, it is vitally important that we choose our words consciously. 

Sometimes we fall into habits of speech and are unaware of what we are placing into the creative medium. If we are to consciously create abundant lives, we must “watch our mouths” and only speak words of prosperity, wholeness, gratitude, appreciation, love and peace. We will, undoubtedly, live the demonstrations of our words, so it benefits us to speak words that embody the energy of the lives we desire to create.

Join us on Sunday for our 10:00 service as we explore further the importance and the power of the word.

Living Peace

September 21 is The United Nations (UN) International Day of Peace. It is celebrated on this day each year in recognition of all who work to end conflict and promote peace. In recognition of this day, I have chosen to share some inspirations about peace.

What is peace?

Peace is the resonance of the soul. We experience internal conflict when our thinking is not in alignment with the peace of the soul. This internal conflict is painful. We act out our pain in ways that are injurious to others and to ourselves. Internal conflict results in external conflict.  When we experience this conflict en mass, it becomes the mass consciousness. We act out en mass.

For millennia mankind has attempted to achieve peace on earth through external means, primarily violence. We seem to believe that if those of us who are “right” have enough power, we can defeat those who are “wrong,” thereby establishing peace. We go to war in the name of peace. History and current events clearly show that engaging in violence for the sake of peace is insane. As Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

How do we create peace?

Peace is not something we have to, or even something that we can create: Peace is our natural state of being. That which ‘I Am’ eternally rests as Peace. Peace is the only state of Mind – God Mind. If I am not experiencing Peace, I am out of my Mind, and attached to my illusion of a mind separate from God.

Peace is a heart-felt desire of all humanity. That we have not achieved it is not testament to our lack of yearning for it, but to the failure of our ill-conceived strategies for living in peace.

How do we live in peace?

Peace is not the result of something we do or something we do not do. In order to establish peace as a way of living, we must accept that peace is the cause, not the effect.  

Do not strive for peace. Do not seek peace. Instead, surrender to peace – the peace that is the very Soul of being. In that place of surrender, there is no conflict. In that place of surrender, we are free; free to allow our creativity, passion, wisdom and compassion to arise in service to living peace-filled lives.

In the place of surrender, there is no longer a ‘me’ and a ‘you,’ there is only the One. The One cannot be in conflict with Itself. I am peace; you are peace. We live as One in peace.

Each of us must take personal responsibility for demonstrating peace. Unity teaches that we create our reality through our thoughts and feelings, thus we will experience peace when we think and feel peace. We will enjoy peace on earth when we first attain peace within. Peace on earth will be achieved when each of us embraces peace as our natural state of being and chooses to speak and act from the consciousness of peace.

Affirm: In this moment, I surrender to peace, I Am.

Let each of us commit to being the peace we wish to experience in the world.

As always, I invite you to join us on Sunday, September 24, for our 10:00 service at Unity Spiritual Center Denver as we welcome Jeffon Seely as our guest speaker. Jeffon will also present a workshop, “Unlock Your Greatness,” beginning at 12:00. For more information on Jeffon, please visit his website, JeffonSeely.com.

Also, please plan to join us on Saturday, October 21, from 6:30 to 8:00 PM for a special World Singing Day celebration featuring the Singing as Spiritual Practice Choir under the direction of Kath Robinson. I will have the honor of joining Marcy Baruch as soloists for this event. The evening will include community singing, spoken word and prayer.

From the WorldSingingDay.org website,

Founded in 2012, World Singing Day is about uniting the global family through song and being a catalyst for world peace. It is an annual, worldwide celebration of our common humanity that creates community, connection, and global well-being.

World Singing Day is not religious or political, nor does it promote any one country or culture. It aims to transcend those differences and celebrate what we all share as human beings.

Let us join as one on this night to honor and celebrate our unity as we stand for harmony and living peace in our world. I look forward to seeing you there.

I Am Forgiven

This past Sunday, in my lesson at Unity Spiritual Center Denver, I shared some thoughts about the importance of practicing self-forgiveness. You may listen to the lesson here.

I shared that since exploring the concept of forgiveness in greater depth over the past few weeks, I have recognized that I have some self-forgiveness work to do around my relationship with my father, specifically the ways I thought about him, talked about him, and treated him.

I did not enjoy a close relationship with my father – EVER. He was pretty much what you would call an absentee father. He traveled for work and was often away from home for days at a time. When he was home, he was usually drunk.

My mother was a grounding, guiding presence in my life. When my mother made her transition from this Earthly plain, I was left with an alcoholic father as the only parental figure in my life. I was fifteen at the time.

Much later in life with the aid of a therapist and through spiritual growth I was able to touch the depth of my pain, sadness and anger, not only about the loss of my mother, but also the loss of my father. Years later I was willing and able to get in touch with and admit to myself the hurtful things I did in reaction to my unacknowledged and unexpressed pain. Even now, when I think of them, I feel guilt and remorse.

I shared about this on Sunday to provide an example of the self-forgiveness process I suggested. (I outline that process below.)

It is my practice to greet people as they leave the sanctuary following Sunday service. This past Sunday was no exception. As she was leaving, a long-time member, a beautiful caring soul, handed me a piece of paper on which she had written some thoughts that came to her during my lesson. She lovingly wanted to share them with me. I deeply appreciate her care and concern.

I am paraphrasing, but the gist of what she shared was: You know more now than you did at fifteen. You were doing the best you knew how to do at the time. The last line was “You are Forgiven!”

These are truthful words. I take great comfort in knowing that what she shared is true. I, too, would say those words to each of us and to myself. AND…

As I said on Sunday, in my lesson entitled Temporary Insanity, when we do or say something out of fear, anger, resentment or judgment, we are “out of our right minds.” We can only be in those mental states when we are not mindful of our True Nature and not in alignment with the Mind of God. The Mind of God, our “right mind,” only knows love and unity.

While it is reassuring, we are not relieved of the responsibility for the effects that our words or actions had on another or ourselves simply by knowing that we were “temporarily insane;” doing the best we knew how to do at the time; and we have grown and learned since that moment in time when doing what we did or saying what we said.

If we are to experience the freedom that comes from forgiveness, it is imperative that we do whatever we need to do to clean up the energy of unforgiveness – resentment, blame, guilt, shame, judgment, etc. We do that by doing the work of moving through the steps of understanding and forgiveness with empathy and compassion, first for ourselves and then for the other.

I will use my relationship with my father to illustrate the steps. As I said in my post last week, Forgiveness Is, this process is not uniquely mine. I have synthesized material from others.

FIRST: What did you do or say? In 12 Steps, this is called making a searching and fearless inventory. Make a list of all the things you did or said that could have stimulated pain for another person.

In making my list I cite specifics, but for this purpose I am sharing only general statements.

I lied to my father.

I stole from my father.

I manipulated my father.

SECOND: What were you feeling and thinking at the time?

I was feeling angry, sad, lonely, and scared. I was telling myself that my father did not care about me, so why should I care about him. I was telling myself that he deserved whatever I gave him because he was an alcoholic.

THIRD: What were you needing that you were not getting?

I needed love and attention. I needed someone to care about and take care of me. I needed security and safety.

FOURTH: What do you feel guilty about? What personal values were you not living in integrity with?

Author, professor and shame researcher, Brené Brown said,

“Guilt is good. It helps us stay on track. It occurs when we compare something we did, or didn’t do, to our personal values. The discomfort often results in real change, amends, and self-reflection.”

I was not in integrity with honesty, integrity, compassion and generosity, among others.

FIFTH: Share all of the above with someone you trust.

Archbishop Demond Tutu, in The Book of Forgiveness, says,

“Unexpressed shame can lead to isolation, depression, substance abuse or suicide. Unexpressed or unidentified shame can make it impossible for us to feel we are worthy of self-forgiveness.”

Tell it to someone you trust. If you are in a 12-Step program, this person will most likely be your sponsor. If you are not, choose a trusted friend who will not try to fix it for you, but will listen with empathy and compassion. You may also want to engage a therapist, or speak with a minister or other spiritual counselor.

By giving yourself empathy and compassion and receiving it from another, you WILL work through and dissipate the energy of unforgiveness.

As with forgiveness for others, it can be, but it may not be easy. It can be, but it may not be quick. Trust that you will get there. Do the work!

Additionally, it is important to forgive yourself for the story you have told about yourself and the other person. In my case, I needed to forgive myself for telling the story of my father as unloving, uncaring, ignorant and stupid for succumbing to alcoholism. I had to forgive myself for not seeing him as the child of God that he is – worthy of love, understanding and compassion.

I also had to forgive myself for telling the story of me as a mean, manipulative, selfish, spoiled, and ungrateful son. It is essential that we realize we are not defined by what we did. We take responsibility for our words and actions, but those things do not determine our worthiness. We must be willing to change the story and begin to see ourselves as who we truly are – wondrously unique expressions of Divine Light and Life – who experience “temporary insanity” from time to time.

Yes, I was doing the best I knew to do at the time. Yes, I now know better. Still, I needed to do the work of self-forgiveness so that I can be free of the energy of guilt and shame. Then, I can truly know that I Am Forgiven!

The bottom line is that we all have the power in every moment, to reclaim our sanity, change our thoughts, renew our perspective and transform our lives and our relationships. Forgiveness helps to make this possible.

Join us this coming Sunday, September 17, as I complete this short series on forgiveness with my lesson, Asking is Receiving. I will explore how we seek and receive forgiveness from others. You are welcome here!

Additionally, if you are blessed or inspired by these posts or my Sunday lessons, which are available on YouTube, I encourage you to make a donation  to support the ministry of Unity Spiritual Center Denver. Thank you!

Forgiveness Is...

In my post last week, The Heart of Forgiveness Redux, I shared some thoughts about the topic of forgiveness. I also talked about forgiveness in my lesson this past Sunday at Unity Spiritual Center Denver. You may listen here.

What follows is primarily a recap of my lesson. I decided to share it here for those who prefer to read, rather than listen. Additionally, I share in this format because I wanted to provide the five-step process I outlined as one way to move toward forgiveness.

These steps and ideas are not uniquely mine. I am learning from some of the great teachers on forgiveness,

• Colin Tipping, the creator of Radical Forgiveness ¹
• Marshall Rosenberg PhD, the creator of Nonviolent Communication ²
• Edwene Gaines, the author of Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity
• Bishop T.D. Jakes, founder of The Potter’s House and author of the book, Let It Go 
• Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu, authors of The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World.

The steps I offer are synthesized from these and other teachings. It is a topic I continue to explore. I am still learning.

I truly believe that forgiveness is essential to our healing, so I hope what follows is helpful, individually and collectively. Forgiveness may well be the key to our survival.

Why Forgiveness is Important

Bishop T.D. Jakes, in his book Let It Go, says “unforgiveness unchecked, becomes a cancer in our soul.”

Unforgiveness is a state of consciousness, which incorporates our thoughts and emotions, and includes resentment, blame, shame, criticism, condemnation or judgment of another or ourselves, at any level of intensity. I say at any level of intensity because many times we think that we only need to practice forgiveness for what we consider the major hurts. It is vitally important that we address the “minor” hurts as well.

When those states of unforgiveness remain unchecked or unexplored, they begin to eat away at us. If it continues to spread through healthy cells, cancer can eventually destroy the body. Likewise, unforgiveness, left unchecked, spreads and affects every area of our lives – physical, mental, emotional as well as other relationships – and drains our life energy.

Charles Holt, in his workshop on August 27, said “You are contagious.” Your mental and emotional states affect everyone around you. If they are not healthy, they infect everyone around you. You may not realize it, but you are contagious.

In Unity we teach that life is consciousness. When we do not address our unforgiveness by practicing forgiveness, it seeps out into our family relationships, our work relationships, our financial situation, and our physical bodies.

Unforgiveness can cause depression, anxiety, stress, and other emotional states of unrest. These emotional states affect our physical well-being. It is not just a New Thought concept. Scientific research has shown that the stress response triggers the release of specific hormones that disturb the normal homeostasis of the body. Unchecked, they often result in physical disease, premature aging and death.

The Power of Forgiveness

In the Sermon on the Mount, which encapsulates the essence of his teachings, the Master Teacher Jesus of Nazareth said,

 “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.  Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.” ³

Metaphysically, what Jesus is saying is that if we do not forgive, we will create a prison of our own making in our minds and hearts with our resentment, blame, criticism and the like. Further, that we will condemn ourselves to the consciousness of hell, from which we will not be set free until we have forgiven even the smallest perceived injustice.

What Forgiveness Is

In the Aramaic, the word that has been translated and shortened to “forgive” has a deeper and more expanded meaning. If we look at direct translations of the Lord’s Prayer from Aramaic to English, we can get a better understanding. The word actually connotes something more in alignment with the following: ⁴

Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us, as we release others from the entanglement of past mistakes.

Untangle the knots within so that we can mend our hearts' simple ties to each other.

Forgiveness in Aramaic, unlike in Greek, is not something that one does for another, but it is an internal process of allowing the acceptance of the Truth (the Father in The Lord’s Prayer) to free us from our attachments to thoughts, form, and the past.

States of unforgiveness are like knots that bind us to those who have harmed us. Those knots restrict the flow of Divine Love through us as us.

Forgiveness is a process of untying the knots and returning us to our natural state of being, an innate state of connection, sharing, and giving. Through forgiveness, we return to the state of mind and the heart where we are open channels and vessels of Unconditional Love.

In Charles’s workshop someone asked, “Can I forgive someone without loving them?” I want to be clear that I am not using the word ‘love’ to imply a feeling of intimacy, tenderness, closeness, affection or romance.

In using the word ‘love’ I am referring to a state of mind and heart in which we are willing and able to recognize and realize our shared humanity and our shared divinity; connect with others and ourselves; and express empathy and compassion. (For additional thoughts on this, please read last week’s post.)

This does not require us to like someone’s personality nor does it necessitate that we have any feelings of affection for them.

Some Things to Know About Forgiveness

• It is a gift we give ourselves
• It is a choice
• It can be, but is not always easy
• It is not weakness
• It requires strength and courage
• It can be, but is not always quick
• It takes as long as it takes

How Do We Forgive? A Five-Step Process

How do we begin to untie the knots that bind us?

First, willingness. Forgiveness begins with willingness. We must have the desire to be free and the willingness to walk the path.

Second, tell what happened. Recount what happened, as if describing a photograph or replaying a video, with as much detail as possible, while avoiding adding any evaluations or meaning-making about what happened.

Third, name the feelings. Identify the feelings experienced when the event happened. Name the feelings that arise upon retelling what happened.

Fourth, feel the feelings. It is important to move through the feelings by letting them have their life. Notice the bodily sensations that arise. Get angry. Cry. Yell. Do whatever it takes to experience and express the emotions.

In The Book of Forgiving, Desmond Tutu shares the story of Father Lapsley, a black priest in South Africa who was the victim of a letter bomb during apartheid. Father Lapsley lost both hands and the sight in one eye from the blast. He was able to move through the process to forgiveness for those responsible. He said, “We can’t let go of feelings that we don’t own.”

Archbishop Tutu says, “We give voice to our hurts not to be victims or martyrs, but to find freedom from the resentment, anger, shame or self-loathing that can fester and build inside us when we do not touch our pain and learn to forgive.”

Fifth, ask our heart, “What do I value that I was deprived of?” NVC calls these “needs.” I like to think of them as aspects of our Divine Nature that are so much a part of who we truly are that when we are deprived of them through the actions of another or ourselves, we feel deeply. (For additional information on this, please read my post from last week.)

GET HELP! For many, the pain and suffering is so great that to tell what happened and feel the feelings is overwhelming and scary. It is important to seek help from a trained professional when needed.

Repeat these steps for as long as necessary as many times as needed before moving on. Remember, it takes as long as it takes.

When Peter asked Jesus, “If my brother sins against me, how many times should I forgive him? As many as seven times?” To which Jesus replied, not seven times, but seventy times seven times (Matthew 18: 21-22). In other words, as many times as it takes.

Granting Forgiveness

In my way of thinking, “granting forgiveness” is not as simple as saying “I forgive you.” Honest and sincere forgiveness requires that we are able to hold the other person in the same process of empathy outlined above until we are able to witness their humanity and their divinity. The steps are the same:

First: Willingness. We must first be willing to see the other from a different perspective. In some cases, it may first require us, as they say in Twelve Steps, to become willing to be willing.

Second: Tell what happened.

Third: Extend compassion. Connect with what they might have been feeling at the time.

Fourth: Ask your heart, “What did they value that they were deprived of?” Be curious about what they valued that they were not experiencing at the time. How might they have been disconnected from their humanity and their divinity?

Fifth: Open your heart and mind to connect with your shared humanity and shared divinity.

GET HELP when needed!

We can only be free when we are willing and able to reconnect with our shared humanity and divinity, and begin to tell a new story about the other and ourselves. As Jesus said, until the last remnant of unforgiveness is cleared we are not free.

In my lesson this coming Sunday, August 10, I will explore self-forgiveness. Many find it more difficult to extend the heart of forgiveness to ourselves than to another. Forgiving others is important, but we cannot be free until we forgive completely. And that includes untying the knots that bind us to our past and learning to tell a different story about ourselves.

Join us on Sunday at 10:00 as together we explore this important topic of understanding forgiveness and moving to freedom.

¹ Radical Forgiveness Workshop at Unity on the Avenue - For More Information, click here.

² Introduction to Compassionate Living, a workshop based on Nonviolent Communication, Unity Spiritual Center Denver, Friday, October 20 – 22, 2017 - For More Information contact jkendeljohnson@gmail.com

³ Matthew 5: 21-26

⁴ There are many translations of The Lord's Prayer. Refer to Prayers of the Cosmos – Meditations on the Aramaic Words of Jesus, by Neil Douglas-Klotz