Serving God

Today during my meditation, I received a clear message – You are here to serve God. OK! Got it! Now, what does that mean exactly?

From a purely traditional interpretation of this message it could mean that I am to leave behind life as I have known it, enter the priesthood and declare vows of poverty and chastity. Well, that is not likely to happen. While it might be for another, I don’t think that is what it means for me to serve God.

It could also mean that I am to commit solely to the service of others, denounce my individual needs and desires, and move to a developing country to live with and serve those in greatest need. It could mean that, but I think that, too, would be me grasping for a predictable interpretation of the message.

Some might say that I am serving God because I am a minister. There is some truth to that; however, I prefer the thought that I am serving God as a minister. I recognize that one can be a minister who is licensed or ordained by a religious institution and still not be serving God. I trust that is not entirely true for me. I will elaborate.

While I distinctly heard the word ‘God,’ it did not stimulate in me an image of an external being or power outside of myself exerting control over me as it might have in the past. I felt no resistance to the word or to what it represents. It was immediately clear to me that ‘God’ refers to the Light/Life/Love that is expressing in all, through all, as all. God is the perfect potential and possibility individuated as each expression.

As I sat with the message a little longer, it was revealed that for me to serve God, I first need to honestly and unabashedly acknowledge how God expresses through my body, my mind, my soul, and my unique human incarnation. It became clearer to me how essential it is for me to honor and share my gifts and talents, not from an egocentric perspective, but from a God-centric perspective. Additionally, it is important for me to honor the study and practice I have done over the past decades. Further, I am to respect Light/Life/Love expressing as my body, treat it well, and do whatever I can do to remain strong and healthy so I can be in service through it.

Light/Life/Love expresses itself through me in unique ways. It is not for me to judge it, hide it, or decide that it needs to be different. Even writing this, I am aware of an inner voice that is saying, “Boy, that sure sounds conceited.” It is that voice and other internal voices like it that I often allow to keep me from fully serving God as IT expresses as me.

Serving God means to embrace God expressing as me and share IT joyously without attachment or resistance.

Serving God also means beholding the perfect potential and possibility inherent in all others. This does mean that I serve God simply by repeating the phrase “I behold the Christ in you, or I behold the Christ you are.” It is a beautiful sentiment that I can speak with sincere conviction, but unless I live into it, it is meaningless. Serving God means that I not only behold the Light/Life/Love expressing in all others, but that I also do everything within my sphere of influence to bear witness to it for them and call it forth from them. With everything I am, I am called to serve the God in others. 

Serving God does not mean that I have to renounce or deny my desires or needs. It does mean that I have the opportunity moment-by-moment to connect deeply with the desires and needs of my heart, embrace those that are alignment with the Light/Life/Love living as all creation, and embody them through my thoughts, feelings, words and actions. By living in conscious connection with my heart’s desires, I am living my deepest connection to the God of my being. As I embody that connection, I am serving God in all I think, feel, say and do. And, I am doing my part in bringing the Kin-dom of God upon the Earth.

Even though I have shared this as my personal revelation, I know that it is not only true for me, it is true for everyone. Each of us is a unique and wondrous individuated expression of Light/Life/Love, and each of us has gifts that only we can share. I assert that it is now time for us to stop hiding our light, cease playing small, and boldly accept our gifts in service to God.

Acknowledging our own Light/Life/Love without hesitation or resistance will open us to the recognition and acceptance of the Light/Life/Love living as each other. When we join together to give our gifts and talents in service to God, we encourage and support others in doing the same. When we all shine our Light/Life/Love, the world is illuminated in the glow, and we all assist in bringing into manifestation a new heaven and a new earth as spoken about in Revelation 21. 

As author, spiritual teacher, and now presidential candidate Marianne Williams so eloquently stated in her book, A Return to Love,

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I encourage us all to acknowledge our brilliance, gorgeousness, talent, and fabulousness and let our light shine. Not from an ego-centric self-serving perspective, but from a God-centric, God-serving perspective. We are all here to serve God – the God within us, within each other, and within all creation.

The Power of Curiosity

I love how my lessons often present themselves in the most unexpected ways and from the unlikeliest people.

Needing to rent a car this past Saturday and not having anyone around to transport me to the car rental location, I arranged for an Uber driver to pick me up at Unity Spiritual Center Denver and drive me there. I have used Uber many times and have had great experiences. This one was no different. It was a pleasant ride in a very nice comfortable vehicle. The only difference was the conversation I had with the driver and what it stimulated for me.

Using the Uber app on my phone, I entered my destination address and confirmed my ride. A few seconds later, a driver responded accepting the fare. Being a thoughtful and careful Uber customer, I looked at his photo, profile and license plate number to ensure that I would not get into someone else’s vehicle.

His profile read, “husband, father and follower of Christ.” My mind immediately went to, “Oh, crap, I hope he’s not an evangelical who wants to have a conversation about religion.” 

Here’s how the conversation went:

Driver: Where are you going?

Me: I’m going to rent a car to drive to Kansas City.

Driver: Oh, what are you doing in Kansas City? I grew up there. (Of course, he did.)

Me: I’m going to a convention.

Driver: What kind of work do you do?

Me: I’m a Unity minister, and I’m going to our annual convention. (In my mind – Uh oh, here it comes.)

Driver: What kind of church is Unity?

Me: Umm, umm, umm…Unity is grounded in Christianity, but from a metaphysical perspective. We are somewhat different from traditional Christianity.

Driver: How so?

Me: Well…we follow the teachings of Jesus. We believe that he was here to teach us how to live. We believe that we are all sons and daughters of God, not just Jesus. We teach that God is within us all.

Driver: That is quite different. So, you don’t believe in Jesus as savior?

Me: (In my mind – How much longer is this ride?) Well, that is a much longer conversation, but in short, not in the traditional sense. I was raised in the Baptist church, so I used to believe that (why did I go there?), but I have a different understanding of it now.

Driver: That’s a big shift. Why did you change.

Me: (Nearing my destination) After studying more about the history of Christianity and of the Bible, I could no longer believe in a judgmental condemning God or much of the traditional interpretations of Scripture. Unity offered me a God of love and acceptance and a deeper understanding of Jesus’ teaching.

Driver: Have a nice trip.

Me: Thank you. Have a great day. (in my mind – thank God that’s over).

I have an idea that he and I could have sat down over coffee and had a more in-depth conversation about this, but there was not time. In hindsight, I wish I had asked him more about what he believes. Because his profile said, “follower of Christ,” I made the bold assumption that he subscribes to a more traditional Christian theology and would be critical of me and Unity philosophy. The truth is, I don’t know that my assumption was correct.

This encounter brought a few things home to me. Many people have expressed in meetings, surveys, classes and one-to-one conversations that they would like to be able to tell someone about Unity in just a few sentences. Obviously, I would like to know that as well. Additionally, I came face-to-face with my own fear around sharing my beliefs with others when I think that they will not agree or will be in judgment of me. So, I am committing myself to (1) moving past my fear of speaking my truth (2) coming from curiosity for myself and others, and (3) either finding or devising a succinct statement about Unity that I can commit to memory.

I have empathy and compassion for myself and others when it comes to the fear of sharing truth with those who do not agree, especially if one’s beliefs are contrary to the prevailing cultural norms. Whether in this lifetime or in past lifetimes, many of us have faced persecution for speaking alternate truths, and history is replete with examples. Jesus’ disciples denied being his followers to protect their lives. Although we know there were more economic reasons, the Europeans’ slaughter of Native people was justified by claiming they were “savages.” Those judged as witches were burned at the stake. Mormons were massacred because of their beliefs. I have wondered whether the early pioneers of the New Thought movement in the United States made the conscious decision to associate the movement with Christianity to avoid similar persecution. Perhaps not, but it would be understandable.

It makes sense that we might be reluctant to share ideas that others could consider to be heretical or blasphemous. In fact, there may be times when it is not safe to share, and it is important for us to honor that. However, those occasions are most likely rare.

In this case, the Uber driver asked the question. My opportunity was to be curious about him and why he was asking the question and to answer him with love and as clearly as I could in the moment. While I did my best at the time, I know that I was reacting from my discomfort, rather than being centered in love for myself and for him. Who knows, perhaps we were brought together so that I could share the message with him. Maybe he went home and researched Unity. Maybe he will come to service on Sunday. I don’t know. It is not mine to know. It is simply mine to be open and honest and speak from love.

This was a powerful reminder of the need to practice self-connection, self-empathy and self-compassion and to meet others with presence and curiosity. Bringing curiosity to every encounter opens the way for deeper understanding of others and ourselves. In this situation, I recognize that I had already decided that I knew who my driver was and what he believed. And, my interaction with him was based on my prejudiced perspective. Even though time did not allow for an in-depth conversation, I trust that we could have enjoyed a more heartful and meaningful connection had I come from a place of loving presence and curiosity.

While I did not express myself in the way I wish I had, I can be curious about what was going on for me at the time; practice empathy, compassion and forgiveness for myself; and set a clear intention to make different choices next time. With consistent practice, I trust that I can and will.

The following is my attempt at a short “elevator speech” describing Unity. I will continue to work on it. I welcome your thoughts and suggestions.

Based on the teachings of Jesus, Unity is a path to empowered living that recognizes the spiritual unity of God, humanity and all creation. Unity encourages everyone to realize their innate power to heal in body, mind and spirit through life-affirming thoughts, words and actions.

P.S. I will be facilitating a workshop called "Ask Me About Unity" in the next couple of months. Stay tuned for more information. 

Be You

This past Saturday, I attended a presentation by internationally acclaimed speaker and intuitive medium, Lee Harris, which was hosted at Unity Spiritual Center Denver. I had not met Lee previously, nor did I know a great deal about his work. Prior to scheduling the event, I perused his website and read some of the endorsements, so I felt comfortable hosting him. However, I had no idea what his two-hour presentation would involve. What I experienced was most likely nothing that Lee could have anticipated. It was certainly nothing that I expected.

Let me say first that I had the opportunity to meet Lee on Friday when he came with his agent to see the space and discuss how they would set up for livestreaming. I experienced him as warm, open and sincere. After having attended the event on Saturday, I genuinely trust his integrity and commitment to helping people through his acceptance, development and sharing of his intuitive gifts. I recommend his book, Energy Speaks, and his other offerings through his website – LeeHarrisEnergy.com – and workshops. I told him and his agent at the close of the evening that we would gladly host him again when it works in Lee’s schedule.

Lee began the evening by sharing his personal journey. He was a sensitive child who was connected to the energy of people and things around him. He felt as though he didn’t belong, which he coped with by eating which resulted in being overweight and being taken to Weight Watchers at a young age. He said that music saved his life in his teens and early twenties. He tried to break into the music business as a singer, but it didn’t work out. He still sings and records his music. He told us about his later thirst for knowledge and experience with self-help books and teachers. He talked about his first awareness of hearing his guides, which he refers to as the Zs. He shared openly about his initial resistance to channeling and his fear of working with people individually. He laughed about how coming out as a channel was as scary as coming out as a gay man. He spoke about how saying ‘yes’ to offers and invitations to speak, teach and lead workshops over the years led him to be where he is today as a renowned speaker,  transformation leader, intuitive medium, and a musical and visual artist.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure that I connected with much that he said following his introduction. I was struck by his story. Much of what he experienced, I also experienced. I was sensitive, overweight, and felt as though I didn’t belong. Music was a saving grace in my life and still is. I read all the self-help and spiritual motivational books I could find. I often still do. I attended as many workshops and retreats as I could manage and afford. He could have been telling my story – except for the part about saying ‘yes’ to the invitations to practice his intuitive gifts and share them with others. I made other choices, some of them involved saying ‘no’ to offers to share.

This is where my lesson began on Saturday. My mind immediately went into coulda-shoulda-woulda mode. I shared about this pattern in my post from March 28. It went something like this…”I coulda been where Lee is now. He is famous and making big money doing this. I shoulda said ‘yes’ to the opportunities I had back then. I woulda been more successful…happier…more fulfilled…whatever.” My small self was free-wheeling. And, I went along for the ride. I was telling myself the story that I had let opportunity pass me by. That I have not fully accepted and used my gifts and talents. That I have failed in some way to fulfill my mission and my calling. I fell into a deep hole of regret. And, I am reluctant to admit that I stayed there for the better part of three days. It’s no coincidence that the number ‘3’ metaphysically represents every level of being – mind, spirit and body. I needed to integrate my lesson on all three levels.

With the help of my prayer partner, Rev. Karen Romestan, and my life coach, Deborah Jane Wells, I was able to remember that the story I was telling as I compared myself to Lee Harris is just that – a story. I cannot know what woulda happened if I had made different choices. I was terrorizing myself with the story I was telling and causing myself to feel fear, stress and regret. I realized that I was telling myself that I am not living up to my calling or my mission, at least not to the extent that Lee is. As I said, my small self was free-wheeling! With help, I was able to come back to sanity and recognize that I am fulfilling my calling to the best of my ability in every moment. I may not be as famous or wealthy as Lee, but that is not truly my deepest desire.

Karen and Deborah also helped me to remember that I am not here to be Lee Harris or anyone other than me. All I have to do is be the best David Howard I can manage to be right here and now. My spirit is, as is everyone’s, a unique and wonderful expression of the One. Each of us is here to embrace who we are and to share it with the world. My mission is to be true to me. Lee’s is to be true to his.  Yours is to be true to yours.

Finally, Deborah also helped me to see that being true to me might just be simpler than I think. It is not particularly helpful to review past decisions and judge ourselves based on the coulda-woulda-shoulda method. There may be things we can learn from our past choices, but judging ourselves for making them is not beneficial. The question to ask is not, “Why I did, or why I didn’t?” The question to ask is “What now?” What decision do I make today that is in alignment with my true nature and who I have come here to be?

The answer to those questions rests within. It requires me to be still, center my attention and awareness in my heart and embrace the knowing of my spirit that abides there. Trust the wisdom of the spirit and know that I have everything I need to fulfill what I am called to do. Also, know that I have the will and the strength to stay the course and live my mission one-choice-at-a-time. I have faith that when we follow the leading of our hearts, we are lead to the highest and best unfolding of who we are in Truth.

I am not Lee Harris. The world doesn’t need another Lee Harris. I am David Howard. The world needs me to be the best David Howard I can be. The same is true for each of us. The world needs us to be who we are and to give of who we are. I encourage us all to embrace our own unique expression of the One, own our gifts without apology, and let that light shine. Just be you. That is enough.  

The Power of Speaking From Presence

In my post last week, I shared some thoughts about the Power of Presence. I also invited everyone to join me in a presence practice. If you have not yet begun this practice, it’s not too late. You can begin today. This week, I want to share what I believe to be the next step in our process of practicing presence and being present.

Connecting with and honoring our ‘body’s energy’ which in his book, Radical Wholeness, Philip Shepherd defines as “everything you are feeling as your life right now. It is an umbrella term covering all the sensations that show up in the body: the energy of your emotions, ideas, muscles, libido, breath, and of your exchanges with the Present” is a vitally important first step. The next step is learning to express it.

Being willing and taking the risk to express our ‘body’s energy’ is the next level of practicing presence. The thought of sharing with another what we become aware of through our presence practice can stimulate fear and resistance. We all want to experience love and acceptance. When we believe that we might be rejected, criticized or abandoned by sharing our emotions, ideas, and experiences, we often retreat and deny ourselves the gift of being real. In his book, Say What You Mean, Oren Jay Sofer encourages us to learn and practice ways of communicating that foster connection and promote understanding.

Saying what we mean in a way that is honest and compassionate requires willingness, presence and practice. I recently had an opportunity to experience this first-hand. I wish I could tell you that I succeeded in communicating my ‘body’s energy’ effectively, but I would be lying. I did, however, learn from this experience and will make a conscious choice to do it differently next time to the best of my ability.

Last week, as I was participating in a meeting, I felt uncomfortable and agitated. I wanted to stand up and leave the meeting. Instead, I chose to stay. My body was present for the entire meeting, but I was not present for the meeting. I listened to what others were saying, but I was not connected to what they were saying. Rather, I was evaluating what they were saying and interpreting it through my lenses. I left the meeting feeling despondent and disconnected.

When I shared my experience with my life coach the following day, she helped me to recognize the story I was telling myself about myself during the meeting. It was a prime example of reacting, rather than practicing presence and being willing to speak to my experience in the moment.

Had I been practicing presence in the way that I wish to, I would have said to the group something like, “I’m feeling disconnected, would anyone not be agreeable to us taking a short break. I would like to have a moment to reconnect with myself so that I can connect with you.” Assuming the group was in agreement, I would have taken a few deep breaths, done my best to become the silent witness of my thoughts and feelings and give myself empathy. If the group had not been in agreement, I would have said, “Thank you. I feel the need for a break, so I am going to step out of the room for a few minutes. I will be back.”

After having had time to self-connect, I would have come back to the circle and said, “I’m feeling some fear around the thought of sharing what came up for me, but it will help me to be able to express it. Would anyone not be willing to hear what I have to say?” Again, assuming that the group was in agreement, I might have said, “At the beginning of this meeting, we agreed to share openly and honestly with each other. I am feeling uncomfortable because I have not done that, and I am sensing that there are things being hinted at by others but not being shared openly. I would like to know that we are free to express ourselves freely and that, to the best or our ability, we will be present for and with each other no matter what.”

My opportunity in doing that might have been to see how present I could be if someone in the group had challenged me, tried to fix it for me, or discounted me in some way. It might have also been an opportunity for me to be present with another’s displeasure about something I did or did not do. If either of those arose, I would have been well served to go back to step one and begin again. Ideally, my willingness to be vulnerably honest would have served connection and opened a way for others to share as well.

Practicing presence within ourselves is essential. We cannot be present with or for another unless and until we are willing and able to be present for ourselves. Had I been willing to take time to practice presence during the meeting, I am certain I would have had a different experience. Sharing our present awareness with another or with others is an important next step toward being fully present. Further, sharing ourselves with another is one of the most meaningful gifts we can give the other and ourselves. It enriches our lives and brings us closer to each other.

In Nonviolent Communication practice, we often encourage the use of “post-hearsal.” Rather than rehearsing what you are going to say or do in a situation, “post-hearsal” is reviewing a situation as I did above and connecting with how you might have done it differently. This practice helps to imprint upon our consciousness words or phrases that we can use in future situations. It also helps us build a consciousness of presence.

I encourage you to think of a situation from the past in which you were not willing or able to connect with and express your thoughts, feelings or desires in the moment. Take some time to imagine the setting and yourself in it. Take a few deep breaths. Practice self-connection and self-empathy. What were you feeling? What were you hoping to experience? What thoughts were running through your mind? Did you want to get up and walk out? Now, imagine that you are back in that situation, but this time you are fully present, completely self-connected and centered in your awareness. What might you have said or done differently?

Practicing presence is more that connecting with the ‘body’s energy.’ Practicing presence is having the freedom to express our thoughts, share our feelings and speak to our experience in the moment when we are alone and when we are with others. This takes courage, willingness and practice. I encourage you to practice alone first. Write it down. Describe the scenario and your response. Then, imagine and delineate your preferred response. Next, connect with someone you know who loves and values you and practice with them. Any form of practice will strengthen your presence consciousness and create new neural pathways that will begin to change your responses in the moment. How do we achieve presence consciousness and learn to speak from presence? Practice! Practice! Practice!