The Power of Presence

As I have shared before, I frequently read and/or listen to audio recordings of several books concurrently. Not surprisingly, I am doing so now. In addition to The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer which our small groups have been exploring and which has been the basis for Sunday lessons over the past several weeks, I am also engaged in Philip Shepherd’s Radical Wholeness and Oren Jay Sofer’s Say What You Mean. While each of the authors offers different paths and perspectives, I find that they share a common thread – the power of presence.

Singer points out that we often engage in habitual patterns of behavior that distract us from being fully present in the moment. For example, we pay attention to the incessant chatter in our heads which he humorously refers to as our “inner roommate.” Additionally, he says that, metaphorically speaking, we construct elaborate devices to avoid our “inner thorns,” which are memories of past events that may stimulate pain. Further, we build “houses” to separate us from all the things we fear. He posits that the walls of our “houses” are our psyche - our “past experiences; thoughts and emotions; all concepts, views, opinions, beliefs, hopes and dreams that [we] collect around [ourselves].” Singer asserts that being present to our pain and fear is the way to freedom. He encourages us to feel everything in the moment, to be with what is rather than hiding from or resisting it. In short, presence is a path to freedom.

Shepherd asserts that being present in the body for all the information accessible through our defined physical senses of taste, touch, smell, hearing and sight, as well as to our more subtle senses, is the path to experiencing the wholeness of life. He says that our culture teaches us to separate ourselves from each other and from the world around us, thereby cutting us off from our connection to the Life Energy that moves through and as all creation. He offers practices to help the reader to connect with “the body’s energy.” He defines ‘the body’s energy’ as “everything you are feeling as your life right now. It is an umbrella term covering all the sensations that show up in the body: the energy of your emotions, ideas, muscles, libido, breath, and of your exchanges with the Present.”  In short, presence is a path to wholeness.

Sofer draws on his experience with mindfulness, somatics, and Nonviolent Communication to present a framework for helping the reader engage in healthy, effective communication. He says, “Effective communication depends on our ability to be present…The first step of mindful communication is to lead with presence.” He goes further to say that being present begins with connection with one’s own feelings, thoughts and desires and the willingness and ability to remain present with another’s. Further, Sofer states, “Awareness is the primary foundation for all communication. If communication is about creating understanding, mindful communication is about creating understanding through awareness.” In short, presence is a path to mindful communication.

I hesitate to admit it, but at times I can be oblivious to the messages my soul is delivering. I can easily find ways to distract myself; however, this is not one of those times. This message is obvious and urgent – Practice Presence. Practicing presence requires me to slow down. I have noticed that when I am rushing from one thing to the next, focusing solely on accomplishing a task so that I can move to the next one, I am not being present. When I am not present, I am not truly giving of myself. Further, I am not availing myself of the gifts of the present moment. I am now reminding myself to SLOW DOWN.

I also find that at times I have to remind myself to breathe. I know that may sound ridiculous considering that breathing is a process of the autonomic nervous system. I mean that I have to remind myself to consciously breathe, to breathe deeply and fully. Deep, full breaths relax the mind and fuel the body. Conscious breath is one of the best ways I have found to bring my attention back to the moment and to being present.

When I slow down and breathe consciously, I can become aware of my ‘body’s energy,’ as Shepherd defines it. When I am connected to my body’s energy, I can make conscious choices that support me emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. From the place of conscious connection, I am more available to connect with and support others emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

It seems that the adage, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears” has never been more true for me. I am ready to practice presence so that I can more fully support my own well-being and the well-being of others. These authors are my current teachers. I invite you to join me.

I encourage us all to set aside 60 seconds three times a day to practice presence. Set an alarm. Stop whatever you are doing immediately or a quickly as possible. If you are at work, take a break, go to the restroom if you need to be alone. Take a few full deep cleansing breaths. Bring all of your awareness to the moment. Connect with your ‘body’s energy.’ What are you thinking, feeling, and needing? Sense the energy around you. Feel the energy of the plants, animals and other people in the space. Without judgement or resistance, just become aware of what is. There is nothing else you need to do. Simply practice presence. One-day-at-a-time commit to this practice for the next 12 days. Pay attention to any shifts in your perspective or in how you approach interactions with others or engage in daily tasks.

Practicing presence is a moment-by-moment choice. No one can do it for us. It is an inside job. And, borrowing from Alfred, Lord Tennyson it is “closer than breathing.” It is more and more apparent, as these three authors have expressed, that practicing presence is a path to freedom, wholeness and meaningful connection with self and others. From where I stand, that makes it well worth my investment of time and attention. How about you?