Living Liminality

I recently returned from spending a few days in Albuquerque at the Conspire Conference presented by the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC), an organization founded by Franciscan Priest, author and teacher Fr. Richard Rohr. This year’s conference was entitled “The Universal Christ” which is also the title of Fr. Rohr’s recently released book. I was thrilled to be able to participate. The experience was enriching and inspiring on many levels, not the least of which was learning about and understanding “liminality.”

Liminality is a word that was new to me, but is a concept that was first developed in the early twentieth century by folklorist Arnold van Gennep and later taken up by Victor Turner. The word is derived from the Latin word ‘limen’ meaning “threshold.” ¹ It is commonly used today to denote the transitional time or space between one phase of life and another, between what we have known and what is yet unknown. For example, liminality may be used to describe the transitional phase between jobs or between retirement and whatever comes next. When we experience these life transitions, we can be said to be in “liminal space.”

Often, liminal space can be uncomfortable. Even if we have been dissatisfied with what has been and are ready to move to something new, it can be scary to let go of what is known and move into a space of the unknown.

It can be more unsettling to sit in that liminal space and wait for clarity about what’s next. While we all have these experiences, most of us are not sure how to move through them with grace and ease. I confess that I often find it challenging. However, having this new frame of reference has given me a more relaxed perspective on these periods of being with not knowing. It requires us to engage our spiritual practices. I offer some thoughts that I hope will be helpful.

In her book, On Death and Dying, psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross identified five stages of grief. They are denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. When we understand that  being in liminality most often involves letting go of something or someone we have known, or a way in which we have known ourselves, we can also understand that it naturally includes an element of grief.

We will most likely go through some, if not all of these stages and emotions. It is important to be present with ourselves in this process. Allow ourselves to feel the emotions without resistance or self-judgment. While liminal space is often uncomfortable and disquieting, we can take comfort in knowing that by accepting ourselves right where we are and embracing all that we are experiencing, we can and will move through it and toward a renewed sense of knowing and meaning.

At times, it can sometimes seem that we are in an eternal space of liminality. It may feel as though we will never again land in a place of peaceful knowing. Even so, it is important to maintain hope, which dictionary.com defines as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” It may seem contradictory to suggest that we maintain hope in the midst of grief, but it is essential to hold onto a sense of expectancy.

The liminal space holds a great deal of potential and possibility if we are willing to be present and move through it. It is helpful to recall times in the past when we have experienced liminal space. In my life, moving from working in the insurance industry to being in ministry was one such period. I knew that I had the calling to ministry, but often it seemed that the period of liminality, the time of not knowing when, where or how it was going to happen, was interminable. There were times when I felt hopeless. It took years, but it did happen.

When I am in liminal space now, it helps to reflect on that period. When I feel doubt and frustration, remembering that I have experienced this space before and that I have moved through it to a new and more expansive space, restores my hope.

Additionally, being in liminal space requires courage. Facing the unknown can stimulate fear. Even though I knew that the insurance industry was not my calling, it became a comfortable and safe career. I knew how to do my work, and I was good at it. I had no idea how to “do” ministry. It required courage to take that leap of faith and leave my job along with the financial security I enjoyed. Yet, I knew that I had to do it. I knew that it was the only way I could set my soul free and realize my potential.

I am happy to now have a word for this experience. I am also heartened to know that the discomfort of liminality is a shared human experience. It may seem odd, but having it named and discussed openly gave me permission to have the experience and offered me solace for being in it.

When you find yourself in liminal space, take heart. You are not alone. Breathe. Feel the feelings. Stay present. Hold on to hope. Gather your courage. Take the next step and the next. Realize the potential and possibility existing in liminality. It is not something to avoid, but another experience to live. Live Liminality. There is beauty in it, from it.

¹ Wikipedia