Divine Human to Divine Human

When I was a child, Thanksgiving, even more so than Christmas, was a time for gathering with family, both immediate and extended. It was a time to acknowledge and celebrate the bond we shared. From my adult perspective I know that it was not the romanticized Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving family, but from my perspective at the time that is exactly what it was. I realize that not everyone has such childhood memories. I am grateful that I remember it as I do. It is a warm memory of love, nurture and safety.

It has been many years since I have been with my family of birth on Thanksgiving. I have blamed time and distance, but in truth I know that I could have easily made the choice to travel to Georgia many times over the years, especially during the holidays: I simply made other choices.

I made those choices because as I grew older the childhood Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving image I cherished faded and was replaced with a grainy Polaroid depicting dysfunction and loneliness. Until recently, I have chosen to distance myself from my family because I have judged them. I have blamed them. I have labeled them. I have instilled in my mind a picture of each of them, and I have related to them as who I believed them to be.

I say “until recently” because I have experienced an epiphany. It may, at best, seem odd that I am just now realizing this truth, but I have recently recognized that my family members are not static images any more than I am. I acknowledge and celebrate that I have changed and grown. Why would I think that they haven’t?

Not one of us is the same person he or she was – even five minutes ago. Likewise, neither are our spouses, partners, friends, co-workers, children, parents or others - no matter what labels we choose to put on them. When we label ourselves or others, we assign a fixed identity to one who in reality is a vibrant and ever-changing being through which the One Life is expressing.

We are constantly evolving beings, expressing from new perspectives, and encountering new thoughts and emotions moment by moment. When we label, we limit. We relate and interact around that label. But we are not labels. We are not even the roles we play. We are fully alive as thinking, feeling and connecting beings, constantly changing. It is vital to our well-being that we acknowledge this – for others and for ourselves. It is important that we honor this aspect of our humanity because the Divine is expressing and experiencing itself as our humanity. When we label or deny our humanity, we deprive ourselves and the world of an integral aspect of Life itself.

I recently began reading, The Endless Practice: Becoming Who You Were Born to Be, by Mark Nepo. The “endless practice,” referred to in the title is the practice of being fully engaged in experiencing our humanity. He says,

“To bring who we are out and to let the world in is a brave and endless practice that clarifies and solidifies the gifts we are born with. There is no arrival point or destination here, only the chance to be more alive as we move closer to the Mystery…The ever-changing practice of being human involves learning how to strengthen our heart by exercising it in the world through caring, building, holding and repairing.”

We honor our humanity by engaging in a relationship with ourselves, not as static beings, but as fully alive, fluid, ecstatic and sensuous human beings. We engage with ourselves in order that we may engage with life, including the life that is being expressed as every other person we encounter as well as every animal, plant and other life form.

Before we can connect with another where they are, we must be willing to connect with ourselves where we are. And, we must be willing to stand with authenticity and integrity to speak our truth, whatever that truth happens to be in the moment, knowing that it is fluid.

We must be willing to acknowledge and celebrate ourselves – what we need and what we feel – before we can enter into a meaningful relationship with another. Until we are available to and for ourselves, we will not be able to truly be present with another and what they think, feel and need.

I also understand that there are people who remain fixed in their points of view and behaviors, those who do not grow or evolve in self-awareness, and those who do not stop to question their worldview or their limited beliefs. As we practice self-love and compassion, it may be necessary to avoid contact with those who continue to stimulate pain in us, whether emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual. I do not advocate anyone putting themselves in a potentially hurtful or harmful situation. 

As we observe the tradition of Thanksgiving this year, whether it is with our birth family, our spiritual family, family of choice, or alone my prayer is that we take time to center ourselves in the awareness of the Life that is expressing as our humanity. May we see the perfection present in it, honor our feelings and needs, and celebrate them.

My hope is that each of us enters into an intimate relationship with ourselves, and then becomes willing to enter into a consciously connected relationship with others, letting go of any preconceived ideas or static images of who they are and, instead, opening to their humanity. Again, only when our safety is not threatened in doing so.

Listen to the hopes and dreams, desires and disappointments, fear and love being expressed behind the words. Listen with the heart and hear what is not being said. Listen for the humanity beneath the label. Honor humanity connecting with humanity, and know that it is, in truth, the Divine reflecting itself through the human form.

Happy Thanksgiving!