Maxims To Live By

In just over four months I will celebrate my 60^th “trip around the sun.” When I was younger, I believed that by the time I reached this age I would have life figured out. I would be confident. I would be secure in who I am. I would have certainty about what I believe. I would be wealthy. I would be perfectly content with my life. I would no longer care what other people think of me. I would be “living the dream.” In fact, when I graduated from high school, I thought all of that would have happened long before now.

I did not realize then that life is a continual process of learning, growing, adjusting, changing, questioning, and questing. I am sure that someone told me that. I am also sure that I thought I knew better.

This all came flooding into my mind this morning when pondering what to share this Sunday as we honor our graduating high school seniors during our service at Unity Spiritual Center Denver where I serve as senior minister. I am sure that when I was a 17-year-old graduating from high school that there were adults in my life who were thinking similar thoughts to mine now. Something like, “I wish there was some way I could sit down with each of these young adults as they move through this rite of passage and implant in their minds how special they are and how precious life is.”

As I thought about what I would say to them, I realized that much of what I would say not only applies to them, but also to me and perhaps to all of us. We hear all of these adages, but we don’t always take them to heart. If we could all receive these three simple yet profound maxims for everyday life, I trust that we would all live more complete and fulfilled lives.

Know Yourself

You are one of a kind. There is no one else in the world just like you. You have something unique to express and share with the world. Celebrate what brings you joy. Pay attention to what excites your curiosity and imagination. Follow what inspires you. Honor your passions. Connect with what you value. Listen to the desires of your heart. All of those are signs and signals of your soul calling you to your greatest adventure and to the fulfillment of your highest potential.

Love Yourself

Love is a verb. It requires our active participation. Loving ourselves requires us to know ourselves at depth. We all experience fear, pain, sadness, joy, anger, elation, and the plethora of emotions that are part of the human experience. Loving ourselves means feeling the emotions, not ignoring them or suppressing them. Loving ourselves means inquiring into the emotions and connecting with their messages. Loving ourselves means being compassionate with ourselves. Loving ourselves means nurturing ourselves. It means asking for what we want and need.

Loving ourselves means being kind to ourselves. We all do and say things that in hindsight we wish we had not. Loving ourselves means not beating ourselves up for those things, but recognizing where we may have been out of integrity with our values, apologizing when it is appropriate and making amends when possible.

Loving ourselves is a life-long, day-to-day, moment-by-moment, choice-by-choice process. It does not happen automatically. Most of us are not trained to do it. We can learn. It takes practice.

Be Yourself

As Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” The courage to be ourselves begins with the practices of knowing and loving ourselves. We often find ourselves surrounded by family and peers who don’t understand us and who want us to change so they are more comfortable. The world would have us conform to behaviors that it deems acceptable. Life gives us multiple opportunities to stand in our truth and be who we are.

It is human nature to want to be liked and to fit in. It is more important to honor our need to be loved and to belong. As author, Brené Brown says in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection,

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

It may be necessary to modify our behaviors to ensure our safety and security when we are young and dependent upon others for our well-being. In doing so, it may be challenging to adjust and reclaim ourselves when we reach an age at which we become self-sufficient. It may take time. We may need to ask for help. Do whatever it takes. It will be worth it.

When we make the effort, and it does take effort, to know ourselves, love ourselves and be ourselves, we will live the most rewarding and fulfilling lives possible.

If I could speak to my 17-year-old self, these are the things I would say. I sure hope my soon-to-be 60-year-old self is listening!

Am I Christian?

Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu,
Buddhist, Sufi, or Zen. Not any religion
or cultural system. I am not from the East
or the West, not out of the ocean or up
from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not
composed of elements at all. . . . 

I belong to the beloved, have seen the two
worlds as one and that one call to and know,
first, last, outer, inner, only that
breath breathing human being.

-        Rumi

Warning: This post is a bit of a rant. It is intended for those who are willing and ready to read with ears and hearts tuned to empathy for themselves and for me.

I am weary of people invoking the name of ‘God’ to justify their fear, which often demonstrates as violence, whether it is expressed in speech, actions, public policy, institutional practices, or by any other means. I am dismayed and disheartened by people who profess to be “Christians,” but who choose to live lives of exclusion, condemnation, elitism, and separation, all the while professing to love Jesus.

Jesus taught and lived the law of love. He practiced inclusion of the marginalized, the outcast, and the so-called “sinners.” He ministered to the sick, the prisoners, the poor and the hungry. I cannot fathom how so many people believe that a profession of faith in Jesus as “Lord and Savior” denotes being a “Christian.” Jesus never said “worship me.”  He said “follow me,” in other words, observe what I am doing and do that.

I also cannot begin to understand how we have allowed conservative, right-wing fanatics to hijack the name “Christian” and continue to espouse discrimination against people of color, LGBTQ persons, women who simply want agency over their own bodies, religions other than their brand of “Christianity,” or people of other countries. This is not Christianity, it the most perverse form of tribalism, promulgated by heterosexual white men.

People who are new to Unity often ask, “Is Unity Christian?” I often hesitate when answering. What I want to say is, “If you mean that kind of Christianity, then NO!” If that is the way most of the world views Christianity, I want no part of that label. In fact, rather than attempting to redefine ‘Christianity’ in the minds and hearts of so many, I wonder if we in Unity might be better served to disassociate ourselves from the name. I know that statement might be shocking for some who are reading this post.

Harmony Pendant designed by Rev. Doris Hoskins - Harmonypendants.com

I realize there is a long history of Unity’s association with Christianity. However, even our cofounder, Charles Fillmore, understood Unity to be more in alignment with Christology, the study of the person of Jesus and the nature of the ‘Christ’ which we understand to be the inherent true nature for all humanity, than with the dogma of traditional Christianity.

Father Richard Rohr takes that even further in his book, The Universal Christ, by stating that ‘Christ’ is “another name for every thing,” meaning that the Christ is the perfect blueprint for all creation, not just for humanity. He further says that his definition of a “Christian” is “one who sees the Christ in everyone and in every thing.” Many traditional Christians believe he is a heretic and openly proclaim it. Thankfully, there are many others who resonate with his perspective and are open to his Christology.

I realize that this post has been stimulated by couple of recent experiences. I recently began watching the Hulu series, The Handmaid’s Tale, based on the dystopian novel by Margaret Attwood. It is the story of a society established by a group of white men who believed that by creating a culture founded on “God’s law,” according to their interpretation of it, they would make the world a better place. As the story unfolds, we learn about the horrific treatment of women, the “unworthy,” the “sinners,” and the marginalized. It is certainly a society based on the concept of a patriarchal, punishing God that seems to be the deity of many “Christians” today. I honestly don’t know if I can continue watching it, or even why I would.

While it would appear to be far from anything we could ever image happening, it also seems to be within the realm of possibility considering the discriminatory rhetoric and the nature of public policy currently being enacted in this country. Perhaps, that is why it is so difficult to watch.

Additionally, I have been reading Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed, in which she shares authentically about her life experiences. Among other things, she is a woman who once belonged to a traditional Christian church, but who was excommunicated because she fell in love with and married another woman after divorcing her husband and the father of her three children. For many reasons, I highly recommend the book. Here is what she says about calling herself “Christian.”

I don’t know if I call myself a Christian anymore. That label suggests certainty, and I have none. It suggest the desire to convert others, and that’s the last thing I want to do. It suggests exclusive belonging, and I’m not sure I belong anywhere anymore. Part of me wants to peel that label off, set it down, and try to meet each person soul to soul, without any layers between us.

She goes on to say that she remains compelled by the Jesus story and talks about how she can relate to who he was and how he treated others. I must say that I agree. I would like to be able to separate the “Christian” label from Jesus, but they are inextricably linked, I fear. I believe that Jesus was the embodiment of Christ consciousness who taught eternal and universal Truth principles and showed us the way to live in union with them. Most conservative “Christians” are much more concerned with their beliefs about how Jesus was conceived and how and why he died than they are about how he lived, let alone trying to emulate it for themselves and others.

Yes, I am a Unity ordained minister who is grappling with our movement’s apparent attachment to calling ourselves “Christian” in today’s world. I have no intention of abandoning Jesus and his teaching, but I am not so sure about the religion that wants to claim him for themselves and use his name to promote fear and hate.

In the end, it matters not what label we assign to ourselves, if any. Our value is not determined by what we believe or don’t believe. We are all worthy of love and belonging. Just because we are!

Don't Go Back To Sleep

“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don't go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don't go back to sleep!”

― Rumi

To state the obvious, we are living in an unprecedented time in our history as individuals and as the human race. While the COVID-19 pandemic is not the first health crisis to plague us, it has come at a point in the evolution of human consciousness at which more people are awakening to the truth of our Oneness – our unity in Divine Life Energy, our unity with all humanity, and our unity with the entirety of creation. More and more of us are coming home to the realization that there is One Life and we are inextricably connected in it, through it, as it.

Possibly more than anything else that has occurred in our lifetimes, this virus has demonstrated that there are no boundaries between us. Our human-defined borders of cities, counties, states, countries, and continents mean nothing. While we discriminate based upon the ‘God’ we worship and our variously prescribed methods of worship, the virus does not. The virus is no respecter of any of the ways we humans have separated ourselves from each other. Even, and especially that which we hold most precious - our bodies - have proved to be borderless.

In our efforts to curtail the spread of the virus, we have been instructed and in some cases required to practice physical distancing and wear masks when in public places. I am aware, as I take my afternoon walks, that everyone is doing their best to avoid contact with others which often requires zigzagging from one side of the street to the other many times. While these are important measures to take, they can have the psychological effect of further separating us from each other.

Metaphorically, I see these as visible manifestations of the consciousness that has been at work for some time. Our response to the virus has given us a perceptible demonstration of how we have been seeing ourselves as separate from each other. We have been wearing the “masks” of our ego-dominated identities and have been distancing ourselves out of fear of our differences. We are now witnessing it in three-dimensional reality. We can no longer ignore it.

We can, however, refuse to recognize the obvious metaphor and go back to sleep. My hope is that we will not. Instead, my prayer is that will awaken to what has been the predominate energy of thought and emotion within the collective human consciousness and make conscious choices to transform it. Now is the time and we are the ones.

Let us use this time to do all we can to remove the “masks” that hide our authentic selves by discovering our own shadows of fear, judgment, blame, resentment and prejudice that keep us from genuinely loving ourselves and others. Let us do the work needed to transform our own consciousness, knowing that as we transform individually, we contribute to the transformation of the collective.

When enough of us are willing to engage in the work of self-transformation and awaken to the truth of who we are, we will shift the consciousness of humanity. We will then witness a world where people no longer were masks, literally or figuratively, but reveal their true identity. We will come together joining in unity and solidarity to co-create a world that embodies our knowing that we are a human family, here to respect, honor and care for each other. We will also know that we are one as expressions of the One Life, by whatever name or nature we know it to be, and respect each other’s traditions. Additionally, we will come together to care for our environment, our mother Earth, and all the life she supports.

Yes, many more of us are awakening and making a difference. It is evident. This pandemic crises has something to teach us if we will pay attention. Wake up! Don’t go back to sleep!

An Unlikely Messenger

This morning I saw a spider. She (I am assuming she was a she) was slowly and carefully making her way around and over the ceiling light fixture in my basement meditation space. My first reaction was fear. Somewhere along the way, I learned to be afraid of spiders. If it had been several years ago, I most likely would have killed it. I stopped doing that. I do not want them crawling on me, but I respect life. I usually leave them alone or capture them and release them outside.

Today, I chose to simply watch in wonder and amazement as she used her legs to feel for each next movement. I noticed how she reached out to discover what lay ahead and where her next movement would take her. I saw her change direction many times as I sat watching and learning from her.

I have no idea of her intended destination. My story is that she was seeking a safe place to lay her eggs. Her abdomen appeared plump. Of course, that is just the meaning I assigned to it. As I said, I have no idea. Perhaps she was just moving through life, taking each step as it came.

I wondered where she had come from and how she had gotten up on the ceiling and how long it had taken her to make that journey and why she was taking such care as she navigated the perimeter of that light fixture.

She reminded me of several truths, though. She reminded me of our intrinsic connection with nature. All too often, we humans think that our job is to dominate nature, rather than live in harmony with it. This attitude has contributed to much violence enacted upon the Earth, the environment and all life that depends on both for survival, including ourselves.

We have, for far too long, misinterpreted the Scripture that says the Earth is ours to subdue. The Earth is ours to respect. While it is still up for debate, we are thought to be the most intelligent and conscious life forms on the planet, but that does not give us the authority to abuse it for our own selfish gain at the expense of the whole.

She also reminded me of the importance of sensing into what lies ahead, rather than rushing to the next move. She uses her legs to feel for it. We can use our non-physical sense of intuition to feel into what is in front of us before stepping forward. All too often in my hurry to make something happen, I have acted before taking time to slow down, feel the energy within and without, and use my intuitive sense to inform the next step. I have made some missteps. I have recovered. I have learned. I trust that I can apply what I have learned, but I make no promises.

In addition, she reminded me that it is okay not to have a destination in mind. We do not know where the road will lead. We have an idea of where we want to go, but life’s journey may take us in a totally different direction. Watching her change course as she wandered around the light fixture, reassured me that life is not lived in a straight line, but a circuitous path. As we navigate life, we will, most assuredly change direction many times. Still, we can know that we are on the path, no matter where it leads or how long it takes. I left her still roaming around that light fixture.

Finally, her connection with the energy around her reminded me that we are always connected to everything and everyone. I believe that she could sense my movement, even though I was at a distance. When I moved, she stopped moving for a moment as if to sense what was happening. When I stopped, she began moving again. We are interconnected and interrelated. When we attune, we can and do sense the energy that surrounds us. We can use that awareness to feel the next right step along life’s journey. Life informs us when we take time to feel it and listen to it.

I am grateful for my spider friend this morning. She was my messenger. She was evidence that our messengers may not show up in the form we expect, and not always in the form we would choose, but they are there if we are open and willing to notice.

Pay attention. Who or what is your messenger today?