Is Unity Christian?

I had fun this past week at Unity Spiritual Center Denver with “Ask a Minister” Sunday. I invited those present to write their questions on index cards and pass them in. I randomly chose questions to respond to during my usual lesson time. The questions were certainly thought-provoking. I hope my answers were as well. You may listen to them here. Due to time constraints, I did not get to all the questions, so I gathered them up after the service with plans to use them for future lessons and blog posts.

As I was visiting with small groups of people after service, someone said they would really have liked to hear my answer to a friend’s question. Since all the questions were submitted anonymously, I did not know which question was hers. While standing there, I looked through the stack of remaining questions. When I read this particular one, I knew it was hers.

Her question is one that many of us in Unity have had and may continue to ask. It is, “How do I respond to people who believe that Unity is not Christian, especially if we love those people and want them to understand?”

It is natural for us to want connection with the people we love. In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, defines ‘connection’ as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” This is what we long for with our families, friends and others we love. When connection doesn’t happen, especially around something as fundamental as our spirituality, of course it is painful. It can also stimulate fear when we think that our loved ones judge or don’t accept aspects of us.

Before we can lovingly and compassionately respond to others, it is essential that we take time for self-connection, and to receive empathy and compassion for our pain and unmet longing. I suggest we find someone who is willing and able to be with us in our pain and fear, meet us with empathy and understanding, and help us to fulfill our longing for connection. Without this, I fear that any interaction will be a reaction from pain and will most likely be received as defensive and elicit even greater disconnection from those we love.

Bringing attention and awareness to our longing to be seen and heard and to be met with acceptance, as well as opening ourselves to the pain we feel when that connection is not achieved, is a practice of self-connection and self-love. We are immensely more equipped to respond to those we love from love when we are self-connected and loving ourselves.

Further, it is important for us to be honest with ourselves. We can ask ourselves, “Am I hearing me? Am I seeing me? Am I valuing me? Am I accepting myself without judgment?” If we are not doing it for ourselves, it is unreasonable to ask others to do it for us.

Additionally, if we want others to respect our spiritual path, we must be clear that we honor and respect it as well. It’s important for us educate ourselves and ground ourselves in Truth Principles. Not so that we can prove we are right and they are wrong, but so that we are able to stand firm in love as we respond to our loved ones.

We can meet our loved ones with open compassionate hearts and minds, and help them realize their longing for connection when we respond from a place of self-connection and self-love, and when we ae grounded in Truth. We can then approach them with curiosity and empathy, rather than pain, fear and defensiveness. We can give them what we long to receive from them – to be heard, seen, valued and accepted without judgement. It is vitally important that we respect their path as well, even if we do not agree with it.

My experience has been that those who question whether Unity is Christian are thoroughly convinced of their religious beliefs. Our loved ones who try to convince us that we are not Christian are most likely concerned about our eternal salvation. They truly want to know that we are not going to spend eternity suffering in hell. I am certain that it is excruciatingly painful for them to believe that someone they love may face such an end. Even though I don’t agree, I can understand why they would be so determined to do all they can to convince us we are wrong.

It has also been my experience that it is not helpful to attempt to educate one with whom we disagree. Educating them about our spiritual path is not going to help them feel better or accept our choices. On the contrary, it will often insight a more passionate defense of their beliefs. The belief in salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ meets deeply held needs for many people. Asking them to accept something different or to even question their beliefs is tantamount to blasphemy and heresy, and endangers the safety and security they feel. It is not helpful.

Our most effective approach is to listen with the intention to connect and understand. Let us give them the connection they so desperately long for, and which we also seek. We can help them to know that they are seen, heard, and valued. We can be curious about what they believe, why they believe it, and why it is so important to them for us to believe it as well. We can let them know that we feel their care and concern for us, and that we value it. We can let them know that we completely respect their spiritual and religious path without judgment. And, we can ask that they afford us the same.

If, and only if, they are curious and ask to hear more about what Unity teaches and whether we are Christian, then we can share with them. I recently read the following in our study guide to Brené Brown’s latest bestselling book, Braving the Wilderness, which we are using for our fall small group study. It was written by Rev. Geo Downer, Senior Minister at Unity Windward. It may be one of the best concise descriptions of Unity that I have heard. If they ask, paraphrasing this would be a good place to start.

Described as a positive path for spiritual living, Unity encourages the realization of God’s good in our daily lives and in our world. With an emphasis on reflection, introspection, and spirituality rather than religion, Unity invites everyone to experience healing in mind, body, spirit, and affairs, through thought, word and action. Based in the teachings of Jesus, Unity principles actuate the shift in perception to live in the Kingdom of Heaven, already present.

Additionally, if they ask, one might also say that Unity explores the biblical account of Jesus’s teachings, as recorded in the Christian Scriptures, as a path to spiritual living. We stress that it is more important to believe Jesus than to believe in Jesus. We believe him when he said things such as, “the kingdom of God is within you,” “greater things than I have done will you do,” and “you are the light of the world.” We also believe that Jesus was the great example for us in how to live our lives in service to love for God, our neighbors and ourselves. We teach that emulating how he lived is the true defining measure of a Christian, not what one believes about his birth, death or resurrection.

I have lived it, so I understand how challenging it can be to have conversations with loved ones who cannot begin to fathom how we can believe that we are created in original blessing rather than original sin; that we are all expressions of the Christ aspiring to realize our full potential; and that we make our own heaven or hell right here on Earth as an effect of our consciousness.

The best advice I can offer is what I have delineated here. Give yourself empathy and compassion and get it from those who are willing and able to give it. Listen to and follow your inner guidance. Respect yourself and your beliefs. Ground yourself in spiritual principle. Meet others with the same level of empathy, understanding, compassion and respect that you desire to receive from them.

This a beautiful example of what Brené Brown’s book, Braving the Wilderness, is about. She speaks of loving ourselves and belonging to ourselves so deeply that we embody the courage to connect with others, even and especially those with whom we strongly disagree. Our fall book study begins meeting next week. There are still openings in several groups. If you would like more information, please email Trish Morris.

Please join us on Sunday for our service at 10:00. I will begin a series based on the book with the lesson, “Everywhere and Nowhere.” You are welcome here!