Several
years ago I returned to Georgia to attend the seventy-fifth birthday of the
woman who became a mother figure in my life after my mother died. I wrote about
her in an earlier post which you can read here. It was the first trip to the home of my
childhood, adolescence and early adulthood in many years. While I appreciated
reconnecting with many of those I saw, I was provided with ample opportunities
to question the truth of the often repeated adage and title of the famous novel
by Thomas Wolfe, “You Can’t Go Home Again.”
While many
of my interactions with friends and family members were familiar, I cannot
honestly say that they were all comfortable. I found that I was not able or
willing to enter into some of the known patterns of familial behavior. Choosing
a new way of being with family does not always foster a feeling of “home.” As
we grow and change, so do our relationships. We often discover that the
relationships which at one time felt supportive and nurturing, no longer do.
As a boy, I
spent many hours of fun on my “Granmomma” Howard’s farm. Running through the
hay barn, chasing the chickens and splashing in the creek are wonderful
memories. Those were the care-free days of youth. My recent visit was not the
same. The barn no longer stores hay, and is on the verge of collapse; there are
no chickens; and the creek is all but dried up. While enjoyable, this last
experience was a much more sedate experience on the farm. It was somewhat
sobering.
I was not
even able to return to the “home” of the Evans’ Knights, my high school alma
mater. When I drove by the site on which the school once stood, I discovered
that it had been razed and a Home Depot erected. I was amused by the metaphor
considering that a depot is a place to store things, much like the human mind. My
mind was filled with memories of what were, in many ways, more care-free days -
memories I had hoped to revisit while at my old high school. Alas, it was not
to be.
Through it
all, I surmised that it must be true that one cannot go home again, because
what we think of as “home” is never the same when we attempt to reclaim it. We
are all constantly changing and growing as we experience life.
Recently, as
J and I were driving to the Denver International Airport, which we have done
many times since moving here, I suddenly became aware of how familiar things
seemed. I turned to J and asked him if Denver now feels like home. While I was
curious about his perspective, I think I was honestly asking the question of
myself, particularly since we have only lived here for a year and a half. What
does it mean to me to feel at “home?”
Since becoming
an adult, I have moved quite frequently. I lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth area
for 29 years, and during that time I lived in 14 different places. That is an
average of just over 2 years per “home!” The longest duration in any one home
was just short of 5 years. As I reflect on those statistics, it seem clear that
establishing a physical location as a “home” is not high on my list of
priorities. Still, I truly value and am grateful for the place I call “home.”
It provides me with a place to feel safe, secure and nurtured. My home is the place
I go to be fed - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
My
assumption is that most who are reading this post enjoy having a home to
retreat to at the end of the day where you can rest, relax and rejuvenate. I am
also keenly aware of the millions of people around the world, including many in
our own city, who do not enjoy such an advantage. That is one reason I am so
thrilled that Unity Spiritual Center Denver is partnering with Family Promise of Greater
Denver to provide temporary housing for families who are currently without
a place to call home. Please read more about this ministry in our newsletter
from last week.
While a
physical space to call home supports our well-being, it is not the ultimate
source of our comfort, or even our safety or security. It is vitally important
for us to get the support we need by establishing a spiritual home. Although we
often refer to it as that, I am not referring to a church or spiritual center,
even though they are often places we find comfort and growth. The spiritual
home I speak of is not dependent upon a building or a particular location. Our
spiritual home is a place in consciousness where each of us can go at any time
to feel refreshed and renewed in Spirit.
We all need
a place where we can retreat from the constant activity of the world, a world
that often requires as much energy as we can muster just to stay fully present
and available for life. Our spiritual home is such a place. It exists in the
awareness of the One Life that is the
source and imbues all life. It is at the foundation of essential nature, the
ground of all Being.
We must
build and strengthen our awareness of our spiritual home through prayer, meditation,
contemplation and mindfulness practices. This is a place we can come home to through
our intention and willingness. It is, to quote Alfred, Lord Tennyson, “nearer
than breathing and closer than hands and feet.”¹ As we devote time, energy and
focus, our ever present spiritual home becomes a space of sanctuary, rest and
rejuvenation within.
I believe
it’s true that we can’t go home again if we think of ‘home’ as a relationship,
place or even an experience, because all of those are constantly changing.
Life, in all of its manifestations, is never stagnant. However, we can come
home again. We come home to that space within that is not disturbed by the world
around us. In that space is our true nature that abides at the depth of Being.
Denver is
the place in the world I now call “home.” I feel supported and nurtured in the
place I reside as well as by the people in our loving community. As I travel, I
am always happy to come back home. It feels safe and secure.
Likewise, I
feel empowered when I remember that no matter where I may be in the world, I
can come home at any time by bringing my focus to my center, breathing into
that space of knowing that I am always supported by the One Life that lives as me.
That is where I ultimately find rest, relaxation and renewal.
While it may
be true that we are not able to go
home again, I know we can always come
home - again and again.
Join us on
Sunday for our 10:00 service as we explore further the ways we can strengthen
our abilities to come home, again, any time.
¹From The Higher Pantheism by Alfred, Lord
Tennyson