In her book, Braving
the Wilderness – The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone,
which we are using for our fall small group book study at Unity Spiritual
Center Denver, researcher and author Brene Brown, Ph.D. explores the power of
what researchers Shira Gabriel, Jennifer Valenti, Kristin Naragon-Gainey and
Ariana Young have termed collective
assembly experiences. These are experiences of joy and pain shared by
people who don’t know each other, but who connect through joyous or painful
life experiences. She cites examples of shared joy, such as a sporting event,
movie or concert. Her examples of shared pain include the shuttle Challenger
explosion in 1986 and the Sandy Hook Elementary shootings. These are times when
the entire nation came together in shared pain and mourning. The 9/11 terrorist
attacks are a potent example of this as well.
Dr. Brown says that these experiences of shared humanity
strengthen our awareness of our inextricable connection to that which is
greater than we are and to each other. Further, that these experiences
contribute to our overall mental, emotional and physical well-being. Studies
show that human connection and bonding improve physical health even more than
quitting smoking, a healthy diet or taking beta-blocking drugs.
I propose that these collective
assembly experiences of shared joy and pain are so powerful because they
provide us with opportunities to connect with our essential spiritual nature
and that of others. Joy as an aspect of our spiritual nature does not require
an external experience, yet when we gather with other spiritual beings whose joy
is ignited by their enthusiasm for a sports team or performer, it elicits the
same within us. In those experiences, we are reminded of our connection with
the divine joy that lives as us, and that connects us with each other. Our
conscious connection with it is heightened as we share it with another. It is
contagious.
While it may not be immediately apparent, our shared pain
also connects with our essential nature. The pain to which Dr. Brown refers is
born of love. Love is who and what we are as expressions of Divine Love. We
experience that kind of pain because we love. Because we love, we grieve and
mourn when we experience personal loss or a tear in the fabric of our human
bond, such as we experienced in the wake of the tragedies mentioned above. We
share the bond of love because we are one spirit, one life and one love. We
feel the pain, even though we don’t personally know those directly affected by
these events. We are all indirectly affected by them. The response to the
recent shootings at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh confirms this.
Dr. Brown asserts that as profoundly as these collective
experiences affect us, not all of them serve to reconnect us. She says,
When a
collective comes together at the expense of others - for example, to bond over
the devaluation or debasing of another person or group of people, or to bond
despite this – it does not heal the spiritual crisis of disconnection. In fact,
it does quite the opposite by feeding it. It is not true collective joy if it
is at the expense of others, and it is not true pain if it causes others pain.
These experiences do not truly connect us because they are
based in fear, which is not an aspect of our divine nature. When we denigrate
another so that we can experience pseudo connection with those who share our
fear-based perspective, we are only contributing to the polarization and
divisiveness we are currently witnessing. We cannot foster true connection when
we are out of alignment with our spiritual truth – which is Love.
It is saddening that so much of what we hear from our elected
officials and those who are seeking elected office is based in fear. The
rhetoric of many political campaigns is based in what is “dangerous” about the
opposing candidate. Rather than focusing on what they stand for, candidates
often speak more about why we should not vote for their opponent. This tactic
results from fear and is intended to insight fear in voters.
All too often today, we hear talk about how the media is the
enemy of the people, Republicans are going to take away your Social Security
and Medicare, Democrats are coming for your guns, or the “migrant caravan” is
going to invade our country. Again, this is mostly rhetoric that is intended to
stimulate fear and motivate voters to stand against something, rather than to
stand for that which is in alignment with our spiritual and ethical values.
Unfortunately, church services which are intended to support
us in having personal and shared experiences of the Divine, often become
platforms for spouting political opinions, and endorsing candidates who
purportedly support “family values.” Of
course, there are also church services that primarily focus on combating “right
wing” political agendas. While touting God’s love, they often reflect what Dr.
Brown refers to as “common enemy intimacy.” When groups join together motivated
by the assertion that they are “right” or “good” and others are “bad” or
“wrong” they are engaging in “common enemy intimacy” which is also based in
fear and does not serve sincere and lasting connection.
Through all of this, we are called to “brave the wilderness”
by courageously practicing vulnerability and authenticity. Our opportunity is
to firmly ground ourselves in our spiritual Truth, to connect with our divine
nature and to stand for all that aligns with who we know ourselves to be as
expressions of divine love.
As Jesus taught us, ours is to “seek first the kingdom of God
and God’s righteousness” (Matthew 6:33) which in our understanding means to see only the kin-dom of God everywhere
and in all things, to know our unity in God and with all creation, and to
think, speak and act in ways that reflect oneness consciousness.
We need not succumb to the energy of fear which is so
prevalent today. Remember, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of
power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
I encourage us to cultivate and participate in collective
assembly experiences of true joy every chance we get. Attend and participate in
the Drum Circle every first Sunday of the month at 2:00 pm. Join in the
devotional chanting at the Kirtan on Friday, November 9 and again on December
14. Join with others in experiences of shared pain, such as the event held this
week at Temple Emanuel and others around the country in honor of those killed
at the Tree of Life synagogue and in support of the Jewish community.¹ If at
all possible, attend and be present for funerals of loved ones, and your
friend’s loved ones.
These experiences connect us through our common humanity with
our shared spirituality. They remind us of our inextricable connection to our
Source and to each other. We are all healed by the power of love through our
shared experiences of joy and pain.
Join us on Sunday at 10:00 for our service as we explore this
idea further.